The Tokyo Soaps
by Quicksilver Foxx
Summary: FINAL CHAPTER! Final end thing for all you dedicated fans out there! This episode of The Tokyo Soaps has now ended. THANK YOU! REVIEW!
1. And so we begin

Chapter 1: the intro and stuff  
  
Quicksilver's DISCLAIMER OF DOOOOOOOM: I DO NOT OWN TOKYO MEW MEW! NONE OF MY ALTER PERSONALITIES DO EITHER! SO GO FUCK YOURSELVES! WAAA! (runs off sobbing)......  
  
MarMar/ Hourigan/ Maricide/ Iruka's disclaimer: We don't own Tokyo Mew Mew. Don't sue us, we only have one body amoungst the 4 of us anyways, and maybe 3 brain cells...  
  
Ok, that's the disclaimer. This is the summary...spell it out... S-U-M-M-A-R- Y... This is Quicksilver writing here...and yes, there is an actual Quicksilver Foxx and a separate MarMar and her alter personalities. This is my first story, and Mar Mar's second (that she actually bothered to type) so don't flame us too much. And oh yeah, flames will be used to burn you in hell...hahahahahahaha.  
Also, this fanfic is not...err, suitable for the eyes of young and tender ficreaders so if you peeps have a problem go fuck yourselves. You asked for it. Yes, we know that we have strange, twisted, perverted minds, but it's all good. Whatever. Now, I'll leave the summary writing to MarMar.  
  
THE SUMMERY (By Mar Mar) (after 2 paragraphs that were supposed to be the summery): Ichigo is going out with 5 people and a cat. That's the gist of it. Read on to discover the soap-opera happenings of the Tokyo Mew Mew cast... P.S. We actually do love Ichigo and Masaya. Really and truly. Except MarMar doesn't like Masaya that much. They are just so fun to make fun of.  
Oh, and now for the proper warnings. This fic will contain cursing, sex references, pointless and random violence, and yaoi and yuri. If you don't know what those are, I pity you. If you have a problem with them, go screw something inanimate until I can get around to killing you with my purse (I have a list of homophobes I must kill).  
  
Mar Mar: Yes, we know the chapters are short. Not my fault, I wanted to divide it into 3 parts, not 8-ish. But don't give up on the story just cuz its so short! My hikari says its funny... and I'll believe her...  
  
It was a happy day in Tokyo. Ichigo thought to herself 'my, this is going to be a busy day.'  
  
She poked awake her girlfriend Mint who was sleeping beside her, who's shirt had 'magically' disappeared during the night. They took a nice refreshing bath together, then Mint left to go to her Japanese dancing class, and Ichigo looked at her waterproof watch.  
  
Uh oh. She only had ten minutes to get ready. She brushed on only two layers of make-up, dressed in something more suitable then her birthday suit, and hurried to a small café to have breakfast with Keiichiro. They discussed many things over hot chocolate and crumpets, none of these things having to do remotely with Ichigo's job as a mew mew, save perhaps the comment on her pervy suit. (Quicksilver: for you poor, stupid, unenlightened folk...coughsexcough).  
  
They kissed passionately for half an hour, then Ichigo vanished and put on a low cut tank top that was easily rippable and conveniently semi- transparent, and shorts that suspiciously resembled a thong. She went on a very educational hike with Ryou where she learned never to wear anything flimsy while walking around thorn bushes. Interesting things spurred from her former ignorance.   
Meanwhile, while invading Mint's mom's bottles of old wine, Zakuro and Mint were having a touching moment (literally). In breathy soap-opera voices, they confessed their everlasting love for one another. A maid hiding behind the curtain sweatdropped.  
  
"Oh, Mint," Zakuro sighed, "I have waited for so long. I have been dying ever since I first gazed into your sapphire eyes to confess my everlasting love."  
  
Mint, who could not keep her liquer at bay very long, slurred "Oh Zakuro, I love you so much. I love your beautiful cinder eyes, your beautiful fluffy tail, your beautiful fluffy ears, your beautiful blood red lips, and....." She continued to describe other beautiful parts of anatomy which should really not be included in this fanfic. This continued for a while until Zakuro put a beautiful white hand over Mint's beautiful cherry drop mouth and told her to shut up.  
  
Mint could not contain her hormones and flung her delicate body atop Zakuro's, and........................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................O.O  
  
Mar Mar: Review, if you liked it. I hope we didn't waste too much of your time, but how could we... its SO SHORT! blames Quicksilver 


	2. chapter 2! bwuahahahaha!

Chapter 2: Kish gets suspicious  
  
Quicksilver: The next chapter disclaimer. Yay. MarMar and me don't own anything except for a broken down, beaten up slightly smudged and icky pooed barnie DVD (ok, so its quicksilver's. but I own my lil bro's weird construction vhs, which is just as annoying. Vroooom.) Which is better than you. MarMar: Hahahahahahahaha! You peeps lead sad, strange lives. Fat cat: Well, uh excuse me, I am in this chapter betrayed by my girlfriend, kicked to china, and exploded. I could youse some self pity here, not just insults and... MarMar and Quicksilver: Shut up.  
  
Oh, yeah: THANK Y'ALL SOOOOO MUCH FOR REVIEWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE LOVE U ALL!!!!!!!!!!!! REALLY AND TRULY!!!!!!!!!!! PLEEZ REVIEW MORE!!!!!!!!!!!! UH OH, I THINK THAT THE CAPS LOCK KEY IS STUCK...OH WELL... By the way, what does PWP mean? Please excuse our stupidity, but this is our firstish fanfic, and Quicksilver only learned what lol meant about 3 months ago. Sad, ain't it? Oh and KrysOfDeath; there is a kind of Ichigo/kish pairing, but lets just say that its fate is uncertain. Muahahahahaaha.........  
  
Ichigo was currently on a semi-romantic date with the fat cat we forgot the name of from the latter books. They were at the fat cat's mommy's house, the mistress of the house being conveniently out on errands, meaning the fat cat had shoved her into a Ziploc bag. (If you do not like the idea of shoving a cat into a Ziploc bag, believe that she really was out on errands.)  
  
The two feline lovers were having a wonderful dinner of maggoty fish. Because the fat cat was a good momma's-boy, he hadn't given Ichigo a good night kiss yet. He had, however, given her a good morning kiss, a good afternoon kiss and a good in-between meals kiss, and a thanks-for-sleeping- with-mee-its-better-with-you-than-with-my-mommy kiss.  
  
She hadn't turned human because of the kisses; because this is our fanfic and we say so.  
  
Masaya randomly happened to wander by, and saw this scene and picked up Ichigo, asking "Has this obtuse thing been catnapping you?"  
  
Then he gave her a kiss and she turned human cuz we say so and Masaya kicked the fat cat to China, where he landed in the rice patties and said "I'm getting bad vibes here." Then he ate the rice patties and exploded from fat-ness. Once again if the image of a cat exploding disturbs you in any shape or form simply believe that the cat had passed up the rice patties and is still in one piece.  
  
Masaya asked the now human Ichigo who the fuck that cat was, and Ichigo replied in a tragic voice, "Oh the horror! He is this awful creature who kidnapped me and made me eat gross, maggoty fish with him!"  
  
Masaya asked "Whats so gross about maggoty fish?" Ichigo said "Never mind."  
  
Then Masaya took Ichigo home, and to take her mind off the trauma of kidnapping, they had nice, comfort sex.  
  
Ichigo looked once again at her watch and said "Oh no! I'm late for my date with Kish!"  
  
Masaya said, "Oh really, that's a pity. Well, because I'm too stupid to figure out that you're two-timing me, how about I drive you there?"  
  
Ichigo said "That would be perfect."  
  
Masaya drove his magical car to Kish's spaceship (once again, this is our fanfic, and the rules of physics don't apply in Fanficland, and we are aware that cars aren't magical...blah, blah, blah....).  
  
Kish opened the door and said "Oh hi Ichigo." He then spotted Masaya and screamed "Who the hell is that bastard?!?"  
  
Ichigo turned red and stammered "Oh, he's a friend. He's not my boyfriend! I've never kissed him! I wasn't sleeping with him five minutes ago! And, um, he's um...gay! Yeah, he's gay! So he doesn't like me!"  
  
Masaya said "Hey wait! I'm not gay! I'm going out with-"Ichigo covered his mouth with her hand and said "Hahahahahahahaahahahahahaheheheh.... He's so funny right?" She rushed into Kish's spaceship and slammed the door.  
  
Masaya said stupidly "I'm not gay." Then he drove away in his magic car to go on a date with his gym coach.  
  
Kish was a tiny little bit smarter then Masaya, and got suspicious. So he planted a miniature camera on Ichigo while he was feeling her up, then brought her back to earth as if he didn't suspect anything.  
  
Mar Mar: Another short chapter! Another total waste of someone's unlimited time! Review! we won't do the next chapter until we have at least 10 reviews! 


	3. In which Quicksilver Foxx and Mar Mar ra

In which Quicksilver Foxx and Mar Mar rant about all things Mew Mew.  
  
Wazzup! Quicksilver here. We got bored and decided to add in a little extra thingy rant page. But....tragically, we are not allowed to make rants on fanficton.net, so we decided that it's not really a rant, but just something in the general area. Truly. No doubt there whatsoever. If you have anything that you want to rant about that has to do with Tokyo Mew Mew, please send all questions and complaints down to the little button that says 'review' and you shall find the inner peace.  
  
Mar Mar: You know, there is absolutely positively nothing more I like to do than RANT! Yippee! I'm soooo exited! does ranting warm-up yoga exercises  
  
Oh yeh. We disclaim every single fuckin' thang that has to remotely with Tokyo, or mew mews.  
  
camera focus on Mar Mar and Quicksilver, sitting in a café, drinking tea and daintily nibbling biscuits  
  
Quicksilver: hey, Mar Mar, isn't it annoying that kish doesn't get Ichigo, but Masaya does? They are so cute together. Ichigo and Kish were totally hot in the last book. And also, pudding and tart never are in an actual affair, they just like each other. Sad. And, also, what happened to the Ichigo/Ryou pairing? It just fizzled out. And you never really learned about all the mysteries put up in the first book. And pie is all mushy. He says 'humans are wonderful beings.' Hmmm.  
  
Mar Mar: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?  
  
Quicksilver: yup! ORGY!!!!!!  
  
Mar Mar: The author person is great at cheesy story lines and all, but you know something? (lowers voice) SHE SUCKS AT PAIRINGS! I mean, the only peeps who actually were good in a pairing were Ichigo and Masaya. Kish and Ichigo only kissed like, once, Mint and Zakuro never even were a pairing because everyone is a stupid fucking homophobe, she sooooo hinted at Ryou and Keicciro but nothing more than mushy and hug happened there, lettuce and ryou were almost in a pair but weren't, and pudding and tart just fell flat. BORING! This is so stupid! starts to shriek YAOI! YAOI! YAOI! YOAI!...  
  
Quicksilver: It was cool seeing Keicciro in a priest's outfit. Even though I'm not Christian. He looked hot.  
  
Mar Mar: But didn't you swear off men forever?  
  
Quicksilver: Don't remind me.  
  
Kish randomly pops up Really? Cool! Tell me all the gruesome details! Please? puppy eyes  
  
Quicksilver: picks up mallet and destroys Kish (Mar Mar: U.U) Not telling anything. Ha ha. I also thought that Zakuro and Deep Blue thingy would have made a good pair. They both had the same style of hair. Maybe our next fanfic will be about that.  
  
Mar Mar: On the subject of costumes, didn't you notice how everytime the Mew Mews changed into superheroes, they were completely starkers?  
  
Quicksilver: Isn't that a bit heavy for a children's book? I mean, its rated Y. And we weren't on the subject of costumes.  
  
Mar Mar: Whatever. But you see, actually, they weren't really naked. Either it was a side view with them covering their boobs, or they were all huddled into a little ball, or something was covering their pee-places (like Masaya covers Ichigo in the seventh book) and they didn't have real boobs. Just lumpy chests. Also, Masaya was almost naked, but he was all covered up by Deep Blue whatnot. Eyes get watery It was so sad...  
  
Quicksilver: smoke starts emitting from fox ears THAT IS SOOO FRIKKIN' ANNOYING! THEY ARE CENSORING OUR PORN! NOBODY CENSORS MY PORN AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!  
  
Mar Mar: hides under table Yeah! We should make a protest! - I get to make all the little signs! Lets see...we'll need a PORN IS GOOD sign, and a ITS BAD ENOUGH ALREADY, DON'T COVER UP PORN, and also DON'T BE A PRUDE, COVERING PORN IS RUDE one!  
  
Quicksilver: OK! -  
(15 minutes later)  
  
Mar Mar: that was a very enjoyable little protest, was it not?  
  
Quicksilver: Yeah! I especially enjoyed the part where rabid nuns started chasing us, screaming that we were insulting the lord and whatnot.  
  
Mar Mar: Well, actually, I preferred the part where the police put us under arrest and turned into green aliens that tried to eat our brains...but whatever. We have to get back to business. Don't you think that it sucks that everyone dies at the end, but then cheezily come back to life? Feh.  
  
Quicksilver: Yeah, I know! I also hated that the other mew mews said to Ichigo Mew Mew "Only you can defend the earth" like seven billion times. We understood it the first time. They should have died sooner. And the whole seventh book was all about one frikkin' fight and was like five pages long! I mean, really! Also the duel between Kish and Deep Blue thingy was like two seconds long. There wasn't any hot stuff going on! No making out, guy- on-guy disrobing....mmumph!...  
  
Kish pops up and quietly murders Quicksilver  
  
Mar Mar: That is so true! I also hate all the cheesy names for things. Like their attacks, like "Strawberry Bell Bell!" is cute and it's supposed to be cheesy, you know? But, they make names like "Tokyo Continental Renaissance." I mean, I see where the Tokyo part comes in, But Tokyo is not a continent. And renaissance is just plain weird. And why would the alien dudes attack Tokyo anyways? It's just an island. I think. Geography is not one of my strong subjects.  
  
Quicksilver has mysteriously returned from the dead Talking of cheesy, I hate how in the first etc. books, all the characters are all like in breathy voices 'oh boy, words are coming into my head...Strawberry Bell Bell!' That is just lame. And they all seem to know each other. Like Ichigo in the first book is all like "Oh, no, Mint! Oh dear, you must fight, Mint! You must transform!" eerk...  
  
Mar Mar: Did you hear that they are coming out with a tokyo mew mew TV series? I bet it is a rip-off of the original and that it sucks.  
  
Quicksilver: You bet it is! Oh boy...I feel a big rant coming on... yumogweigwyfeydingzou... yumogweigwyfeydingzou...(she is practicing her Jackie Chan uncle meditation zen etc technique)  
  
Mar Mar: O.oU  
  
Quicksilver: breathe in...breathe out...OK! So, you know how Ichigo means strawberry, and Zakuro pineapple, etc? Wueaalll, in the English thing, they are just calling them all by their English food group names! It is sooo much cooler in Japanese! They are changing everyone's names! Even Keicchiro will be like Chopsticks and Masaya like Milkshake or whatever! Ryou will be Ryan! That is very lame. And they will make it all cutsie and cut out all hints of yaoi and semi-nudity, like when there is transforming, or where in the first book Ryou has his shirt of and his fly open, and in the other book where Ryou lands on Ichigo and looks like he's going to rape her, and when they show Ryou and Keiichiro hugging, etc. And, they will add in new thingies and episodes that the lame director just 'feels' like putting in, and they'll change all the animation, and it won't be Tokyo mew mew anymore. This is the worst part.  
  
Mar Mar: What will it be?  
  
Quicksilver: It will...It will...it...will...be...HOLLYWOOD MEW MEW!  
  
MarMar:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (etc)  
  
Quicksilver: It won't be based in Japan anymore! It'll be placed in Hollywood!  
  
Mar Mar: It burns! It burns!  
  
Quicksilver: Isn't it terrible? And they'll add in Morals and Lessons, so it won't just be watching pretty girls in pervy outfits!  
  
Lettuce: well, actually, there is a moral. It is to keep the environment healthy and to...  
  
Quicksilver: Don't burst my bubble. Also, they'll delete out all the pervy costumes and waitress costumes!  
  
Mar Mar: (drools) So they'll all be starkers?  
  
Quicksilver: No, baka, they'll all be wearing nice, sensible school clothes!  
  
Mar Mar: starts to cry I just can't take it anymore...  
  
Quicksilver: I bet that Masaya and Ichigo won't even be a pair and Mint will not be a rabid fangirl for Zakuro! We should do another protest!  
  
Mar Mar: Yay! Protest! --  
  
Have any rants you'd like to inform the world about? Review, and maybe later we will make another chapter like this! But don't worry, chapter 3 is on the way! 


	4. Random nothings and Kish sets on his mis

Chapter 3: Random nothings and Kish sets on his mission  
  
Quicksilver: Hello you wonderful peeps! Today Marmar has taken a coffee break (because she is on month long vacation with the family of DOOOOM), and instead here I haveeeeeeeeee............................ROAE!!!!!! (short for 'root of all evil.' Yay.) Yes, Roae really does exist in the world outside the computer screen. Like me...hn...to be or not to be... Back to the disclaimer. We don't own anything except our alternate personalities. And even then they eat us inside our soul rooms sometimes. La di da.  
  
Also, I am sorry because I had a mixup in some name thingies. But the right ones are even SCARIER! Kyle for Keicciro? Pam for Zakuro? Patty for pudding? Mina for mint? Lory for Lettuce?.................................................................hmm m............. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Oh yes, thank u guys who want to protest with us...we must arrange tea sometime to get all our protest thingiemabobs together...  
  
And also, we just wanted to write stuff like, have you guys ever noticed how Tokyo mew mew has like 115 peeps currently, and other anime like Devil vs. Devil whatever and Astro Boy whatnot have like, 4? Or 1? That is sad beyond sad.  
  
Roae: Tokyo Mew Mew didn't always have 115 peeps.  
  
Quicksilver: (Sighs dreamily, thoughtful expression on face) oh yeah... I remember the day when there were only 8 members...how long ago that was...  
  
And also, I am very sorry in not updating immediately. My computer had a sucky virus, and the internet is all screwed up, and porn popups are everywhere, and... Ichigo: Hey! get on with the story already! Back at the Tokyo café, instead of casually asking each other how each other's day had been while secretly checking out the other's ass, Ryou and Keiccharo were not making intelligent noises of any sort. They were making the noises of a person with another person's tongue jammed down their thought and were trying ho get their tongue in the same position.  
  
Ryou pulled away then casually asked in a whisper "How was your day?"  
  
Keiichiro smiled and said "It was great. I went to a café with Ichi-oh Ryou there's an itch on my back, can you scratch it??"  
  
Ryou searched Keiccharo's back with his hands (and tongue- eeew!) for an itch that did not exist, his hands slowly roaming lower, lower ...LOWER.....and that was the end of their conversation.  
  
Pudding had somehow gotten into the spaceship and was chasing Tart around with an expression on her face that suggested that she had been fused with the DNA of a fuzzy streetlamp. Don't ask.  
  
"Tar Tar!" she exclaimed, pulling him into a tight hug, causing his face to take on an odd mixture of the colors red and green. She then smiled cutely and gave him a piece of candy.  
  
The alien sighed. 'I swear I only put up with the little pest for candy. I feel absolutely nothing for the adorable kawaii little monkey girl.'  
  
Don't kid yourself Tart, it is defeating the purpose of this scene, and consequently bad for your health, just like everything else that people feel other people shouldn't do, but it is perfectly acceptable if they are the person in question.  
  
Roae: I don't get this part. Fuzzy street lamp? Quicksilver: Don't ask me. Mar Mar wrote this one. Mar Mar(from her lonely vacation planet): Hey!  
  
Meanwhile Kish was watching Ichigo's surroundings with the camera so cleverly installed on her chest. Though he greatly enjoyed the view when Ichigo looked at herself naked in the mirror, he saw nothing suspicious because Kish had been Ichigo's last date that day.  
  
The next day though, brought a whole new slew of revelations. Kish watched, from Ichigo's chest point of view, as Ichigo danced with Ryou, played strip BS with Mint (the fact that there were only 2 people helped the two get naked faster), made out with Keiccharo, had sex with Masaya, and mourned the loss of the fat cat.  
  
Not that Kish enjoyed many of the images brought by the camera of Ichigo's partners, but porn is addictive.  
  
The clever alien wrote down who Ichigo was dating and noting who he could blackmail if needed, then, being the nice person he is, went to warn the victims of the pink-haired vixen's sluttiness.  
  
Masaya was walking home from screwing Ichigo when he saw Kish, who was picking out a present for his girlfriend to bribe her into being with him and only him.  
  
Kish ran up to a dark haired boy who looked slightly like Masaya. "Um.... You're Masaya, right?" he asked. The dark haired boy looked at Kish like he was insane, then ran off screaming bloody murder. 'I guess not,' Kish thought to himself.  
  
"You were looking for me?" Masaya asked, poking Kish on the pressure point on the back of his neck. Since aliens have different pressure points than humans, this had no effect but making Kish turn around which was the original intention anyways, so all is well.  
  
"Yes I was. Hello Masaya," Kish said, suddenly feeling like removing the human's head from his body, just because.  
  
"Hello. You are one of the freaks invading earth, the one who likes Ichigo, right?"  
  
Kish nodded. "Um...about that. Masaya, my name is Kish. You drove Ichigo to my house yesterday. Remember?"  
  
Masaya nodded too. "I think so...Ichigo called me gay. I wonder why?" he blushed slightly, trying to cover up the pink fake leather with fake feathers purse currently slung around his shoulders.  
  
Kish sighed. 'This dude is hopeless. Why did Ichigo even bother going out with him anyway? He must be REALLY good in bed.' "You see, Ichigo was trying to cover up the fact that she was dating you."  
  
"Why? We like each other, and that's all that counts!"  
  
'Masaya is so stupid. Does this really need to be spelled out for him? I mean, when the guy your girlfriend said she was late to a date with starts talking about hiding stuff from you, normal guys would catch on quicker. In fact, any normal guy would have figured out the obvious when the girl said something about a date with another guy.' "The thing is, she didn't want me to know that you two were dating. There is a reason for this. You see, Ichigo and I have been dating ever since I first came to Earth."  
  
A long silence followed this confession. Masaya was the first to break the uncomfortable pause. "....................So?"  
  
Kish nearly fell over. "So that means she's not being loyal to you! She's betraying you! What do you have to say to that? Are you only using her for sex? Is that why you don't care? I mean, that's my motive for dating her too, but..."  
  
Masaya blinked. The only word that penetrated his thick skull was 'sex'. "Sex? Where? I thought Ichigo had something to do tonight!"  
  
Kish sighed again. "She did have something to do tonight. She went to go have sex with Ryou."  
  
The whole sentence (wow! A record!) got through to Masaya, and he fell over laughing. "Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Yeah right. You're just trying to break up Ichigo and me! Get a life, stupid alien dude."  
  
"It's true!" Kish insisted.  
  
"Get out of my sight, you freak! It's just another stupid world dominating tactic!" Masaya insisted.  
  
Kish sighed. "What world domination? I'm pretending to be trying to take over the world so that I can peek up the mew mews' skirts and be there to see when their boobs pop out of their suits when they're fighting. One of these days..." Kish wandered away with a dreamy look in his eyes, not paying attention and consequently ran into a street sign. Masaya was still unconvinced. Oh yeah guys, thank you all sooooo much for reviewing! (starts to cry). We actually have 15 reviews! (I think. That's what roae told me since my internet is all screwed up and I can't check for myself). boo hoo...I love you all so much...waaaa...I think I have pms... Whatever. Please review more! We won't update until we have 20 reviews! Muahahahahahahahaha! Hugs and kisses to all of u out there! 


	5. The Bashing of Masaya

The Bashing of Masaya  
  
Heggo, you wonderful readers! Quicksilver here. I am making this chapter because you will need some entertainment as I will soon be on a big vacation. Also, I had a request for more bashings of Masaya and of the Keicciro/Ryou pairing doing more hot stuff. And, I am bored. Brace yourselves. (Speaking of braces, I just got mine put on today...I look like a robot.)  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo mew mew. If I did, everyone would be naked and slutty. And funnier. And less cheesy. I also do not own Gundam Wing. If I did, Heero and Duo would be going out. And Heero would be toast. Maybe with butter. This is from a very hilarignourmous website, www.heerosferret.com Go visit and learn why Heero is not toast. Ok. So lets say Masaya is walking down his street. Masaya: Hi! I am walking down my street!   
  
Narrator: Shut up! You are too cheerful! I do not like cheerful people! And you are obviously stupid, because you just stated the obvious! You must be punished!  
  
Masaya: Dude, do you have a problem with cheerful people? That makes me really insulted. I am kinda mad at you.  
  
Narrator: I don't have a problem with cheerfulness in general. THE PROBLEM IS YOU! YOU ARE TOO PERFECT, ALL THE GIRLS LOVE YOU, YOU ARE TOO SMART AND TOO EARTH CONSIOUS, AND ALL WEIRD AND MUSHY! YOU ARE LIKE THE STUPID PERFECT ANNOYING EVIL ANNOYING STUPID ANNOYING THINGY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Masaya: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Mommy! Help!  
  
Narrator: Reaches out and grabs Masaya HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! I have you now, my pretty!  
  
Masaya: AAAAAHHHHHHHH!  
  
Narrator: Now I shall skewer you and butcher you and make you be raped by clones of yourself, then decapitate you and roll you up into balls of dung! Skewers him and butchers him and makes him raped by clones of himself and decapitates him and rolls him up into balls of dung  
  
Narrator: Boy that felt good! : )  
  
gust of wind blows by and blows off narrators invisibility cloak. Kish appears  
  
Kish: AAAAHHH! I'm naked! Kish fans: Drool...so hot...  
  
Fat cat: Did somebody say mommy?  
  
Ok! That felt good. If you are a fan of Masaya, please note that I do not have anything against him personally. Bashing him is so fun. I could do it with anyone really.  
  
Roae: Really?  
  
Quicksilver: yes. Hey, what are you doing here?  
  
Roae: Prove it. That you can bash anyone, I mean.  
  
Quicksilver: OK! heads towards roae  
  
Roae: uh oh...RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
Boy! I feel happy. Bashing is a good way to blow off steam. I feel kinda weird...actually... Its like I'm all warm and glowy... I feel like I am growing....  
  
Roae: AAAA!!! She is shiney and all mutating! SHE MUST BE EVOLVING!  
  
Evolution music starts playing in backround  
  
Roae: AAAA! She is...she is...she evolved into a...FOXXGODDESS!  
  
Quicksilver: Foxx! Goddess! FoxxGoddess!   
  
Roae: -.- I guess all the stress and insanity and bashing finally got to her...  
  
Quicksilver: Muahahahahahahahaha! I am no longer Quicksilver Foxx! I am the FOXXGODDESS! All bow before my mighty form!  
  
Roae: look at who's on sugar high... 


	6. The Ryou Keicciro show

YO!! Wazzup! Quicksilver Foxxgoddess here. I am not quite on vacation yet. And I had this really grrrrrrrrrrrrreat (cinnamon crunchers) idea. Sooooo...I decided to update! Oh yes, Dark Mew Angel...you wanted more Ryou Keicciro, you got it! Whee! If anyone out there has a request, please just review! Anything like bashing of characters, being briefly included in story, me evolving into new and weird forms, me living in a poke-ball etc. I'll try to get to it when I get back from vacation.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Even though I should. I am, however, the queen of hentai.  
  
Bakura: yeah right.  
  
Roae: BAKURA SAMA!! WHEEE!! I must glomp! C'mere you... Currently, the Tokyo Mew Mews were at the café. Ryou had called them over because he had to return Ichigo's pajamas to her. The others were informed that it was some kind of 'mission.'  
  
They all were sitting around in the 'staff only' section discussing tactics for destroying aliens, when Keicciro poked his head out of his room, and called, "Come on up, Ryou. I've isolated the parameters of the turbo hydrophilic blah blah blah..." Ryou slid Ichigo a sleek red packet containing her bedclothes and wiggling his hips a little, sauntered up the stairs. He slipped into Keicciro's room and shut the door. Keicciro grabbed him from behind and started sucking his neck. After a while, when they got tired of the oral stuff, they decided to go a bit heavier.  
  
As Keicciro was pulling off Ryou's shirt, he asked casually, "Hey, Ryou, what was in that thing that you slipped Ichigo?" Ryou answered, "Her pant- er, um, her paint set. I found it in the kitchen. Hey, I love that groovy rubbing thing you're doing. Where did you learn it?"  
  
"Um, well, just the other night, Ich-er, um I mean sorry, I sneezed there. I learned it over in Egypt." Having finished with the talking, they rolled over onto the bed. Keicciro slid out of his...  
  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Startled, the two guys looked over at the door. Lettuce stood there, covering her glasses and screaming her head off. "Oh no! What happened? What's going on?"  
  
"Er, ehehe, um, you see...," Keicciro stammered, blushing. Ryou cut in quickly. "Well, er, the computer blew up, and the force of the blast pushed us on to the bed."  
  
"How did your clothes come off? It looks like you're, well, practically to put it crudely having sex!" "The force of the blast, er, blew our pants off. Literally. Um, we can handle it, if you would mind er, leaving..."  
  
"Are you sure you're ok? This isn't a sight for tender eyes, you know."  
  
Suddenly, pudding popped her head around the doorway. "Hey guys! What isn't? Are they having..." She caught sight of the boys. "Oh." Lettuce hastily stood in front of pudding. "Pudding! Go downstairs right now!"  
  
Pudding smiled. "Its ok, Lettuce. I do that all the time with Tart."  
  
"WHAT THE HECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????"  
  
"Yeah! Sometimes my monkey joins in, too!"  
  
"GO DOWNSTAIRS RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Meekly, Pudding left. Lettuce let out a large sigh. Suddenly, though, a light bulb popped above her head. "But wait...you said the computer exploded, right? Well, it looks fine to me..."  
  
"Er, um, well, it got better," Ryou stammered lamely. "Oh. OK! I'll go finish cleaning dishes then!" Lettuce left smiling and humming. Simultaneously, the guys let out sighs of relief. Keicciro got off Ryou and locked the door, and moved the dresser in front of it. Then, he forced Ryou onto the bed and then as he stroked his ass, he...  
  
Hey!  
  
Stop reading!  
  
They need privacy too, you know. Leave them alone.  
  
You're still reading...  
  
Oh fine. I'll just end the chapter. Please read and review! Even though I'll be thousands of miles away from my computer, I'll try to update. See ya! 


	7. The Pokemon Contest, Roae's taking over

Note from Quicksilver Foxx:  
  
Yowza! This is the next chapter. It is a very short thingy about what the   
  
Tokyo mew mew characters would be if they were pokemon. Roae is updating it,   
  
so we can't put in any special requests. It is just filler until we all get   
  
back from vacation.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything. HA! I crossed my fingers!   
  
Muahahahahahahaha! I own everything! La la la la…  
  
Pikachu: PIKA! PIKACHU!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Quicksilver gets fried  
  
Quicksilver: oww…fine…  
  
Roae: FOXX AND MARMAR HAVE GONE SO I HAVE NOW TAKEN OVER THE WORLD OF THE TOKYO SOAPS! MWAHAHAHAHA! I SHALL NOW BEND THE FIC TO MY WILL!  
  
Pikachu: narrows eyes Pika…  
  
Roae: O.o Okay, okay… I'm shutting up…

Everybody is standing in a big field. A cheesy rainbow arcs across the sky.  
  
Ichigo: HIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!   
  
Everyone: SHUT UP, SLUTWHOREBITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ichigo: fine. Meanies.  
  
Lettuce: Wazzup, dawg, today, we'll all be a'seein' what type of these here   
  
pokies we're all a'gonna be. (Lettuces' weird voice yami has taken over)  
  
Kish: -.-U Its not a 'pokie,' it's a pokemon.  
  
Tart: Pokie! Pokie! (He is poking and tickling Pudding)  
  
Soon, everyone is poking everyone. Pie is muttering mathematical equations   
  
to himself. Kish manages to insure quiet before clothes start coming off by   
  
screaming and yelling obsenities.  
  
Kish: SHUT UP, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! SHITHEADS!  
  
A farmer far away looks at the sky. He uses a turkey feather to clean out   
  
his ears.  
  
When everyone is quiet, kish starts to talk.  
  
Kish: OK. This is a contest to see who is the best pokemon. We will all be   
  
transmogrified into pokemon, and the cutest wins.  
  
Ichigo: OOH! OOH! ME FIRST!!  
  
Kish: Fine. Pie…  
  
Pie takes out a magic wand, and waves it over Ichigo. Ichigo's clothes melt   
  
off, and her boobs etc. pop out. Much nose bleeding occurs. When it clears   
  
up, sitting in the middle of the field is a…  
  
Ichigo: SKITTY! SKITTY!  
  
Masaya: Awww…it's like a little pink cat with a weird tail! So cute!  
  
Kish: Who's next?  
  
Masha: Beep!  
  
Kish: no, you don't count. Anyone else?  
  
Masaya: I guess…I'll go…maybe…  
  
Pie waves his wand over Masaya.  
  
Masaya: MOMMY!  
  
Masaya has turned into a…  
  
Masaya: Mudkip?  
  
Kish: Masaya is now a mudkip! He is like this blue fishy frog thingy!  
  
Pie: Awww…  
  
Everyone else: ORO? NANI? O.o  
  
Kish: okay…um, so, who's next?  
  
Lettuce: I guess I'll go.  
  
Pie waves his magic wand over her. All her clothes fall off. Many nose   
  
bleeds occur.  
  
Kish: Ub, okay, lebs see here, Ib thik Ledduce turned indo a…  
  
Lettuce: Spheal!  
  
Kish: (nosebleed mysteriously clears) A spheal! This is a round, cute, ball   
  
shaped seal pokemon.  
  
Mint: Awww…  
  
Zakuro slaps mint.  
  
Kish: Who's next?  
  
Mint: ME! I bet I'll be a Beautifly or a Gardevoir or a Goldeen, or…  
  
Pie waves wand over Mint.  
  
Kish: And what shall mint be? Aah! Her clothes are coming off! Avert your   
  
eyes!  
  
Mint: Or I might be a luvdisc…hey, whats going on?  
  
Kish: Mint has turned into a…Minun!  
  
Zakuro: Awww…  
  
Mint: Minun! Minun! (In English: Oh, well…)  
  
Kish: Zakuro, would you like to go next?  
  
Zakuro: Fine. Hmph.  
  
Pie waves wand over Zakuro.  
  
Kish: What will Zakuro be?  
  
Zakuro: Mightyena!  
  
Kish: I thought so! All wolfy!  
  
Pudding's monkey: Awww…  
  
Pudding: Hey Kish! Me and tart want to go together!  
  
Tart: . Er…we do?  
  
Pie waves his magic wand over the two.  
  
Kish: I guess you know the routine by now…  
  
Pudding: Mankey!  
  
Tart: Slakoth!  
  
Kish: Pudding has turned into a monkey-like thing with a weird tail! Tart   
  
has turned into a sloth! Hee hee…sniggers  
  
Ryou: I want to go! I'll probably be a big, macho pokemon like Absol or   
  
Armaldo! Hee hee…  
  
Pie waves his wand over Ryou.  
  
Kish: Hey you notice how the girls are all naked, but the boys aren't?  
  
Pie: Er, um..well…  
  
Kish: Anyways, what will Ryou evolve into…I think he is…  
  
Ryou: SPOINK!? (English: WHAT THE FUCK! I'M A SPOINK!)  
  
Everyone: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Kish: Ryou has evolved into a little piglet with a pink sit on it's head   
  
that bounces around on it's tail! Keicciro, you up?  
  
Keicciro: I guess…  
  
Pie waves his…blah blah blah…  
  
Keicciro: MUK!  
  
Pie: Oops. Sorry.  
  
Keicciro: Swalot…-.-U  
  
Kish: Keicciro is a big purple lump with wiskers! It's really cute,   
  
actually…  
  
Keicciro: SWALOT? O.o  
  
Kish: Guess it's my turn…  
  
Later  
  
Kish: Vulpix! . (English: I am a really cute brown fox thing with nine   
  
little curly tails).  
  
Pie: My turn…  
  
Later  
  
Pie: Feebas…-.-U  
  
Kish: Vulpix! (HAHAHAHA! PIE IS AN UGLY FISH!)  
  
Quicksilver: I guess I'm the only one left. I'm a FoxxGoddess. HAHA! I WIN!  
  
No, really, vote on the cutest pokemon! The cutest one wins!Note from Roae:  
  
Okay, you heard her, vote on the cutest pokie!  
  
Okay, I don't want this fic to die while the original authors are on vacation so the next chappie will be written by yours truly! ! And in that chapter I'll put up how far the voting has gone. I'll wait till Foxx gets back so she can declare winners. Agreed? See, I have really taken over the fic! MUHAHAHAHA!  
  
Pikachu: cheeks start to spark Chu…  
  
Roae: O.O' Ahem. I mean I'm BORROWING the fic… 


	8. Tokyo Soaps Bloopers by Roae

Roae: Wazzup people? This is gonna be a filler chappie written by me while we all wait for the REAL authors to get back. In other words, I have oficially taken over! AND, I have gotten rid of that ANNOYING yellow rat, so I am free to speak! HA! And sorry I'm took sooooo long to write it. The Computer God hates me so I can't stay on the computer for very long every time I get on. I end up only writing a couple of lines each time...  
  
Okay, seeing as how I got a note saying the asterisks don't work anymore (Argh!) ACTIONS IN THIS CHAPTER WILL BE SHOWN BY ((blah,blah))! JUST SO THIS IS DRIVEN INTO YOUR HEAD! DARN IT! NOW MY CAPS LOCK IS STUCK! HELP! Okay, that's better.  
  
Now, to introduce my chapter! This shall be... dun dun dun... Tokyo Soaps Bloopers! I shall take you behind the scenes to watch the TMM cast make mistakes while acting out this fic! And now we start! VOILA!  
  
Oh, and don't tell me how much I suck. I know my writing isn't anywhere NEAR as funny as Foxx and MarMar. But I'm trying...  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything in here that you have heard of before and is copyrighted. These ideas are mine and the concept of dub fever is mine. So basically, I own very little. Yeah. Depressing. For me anyway.  
  
!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!  
  
# Chapter 8, Take 3 #  
  
Soon, everyone is poking everyone. Pie is muttering mathematical equations   
  
to himself. Kish manages to insure quiet before clothes start coming off by   
  
screaming and yelling obsenities.  
  
Kish: SHUT UP, YOU IDIOTS! JERKS! Hey, what's going on? I can't cuss!  
  
Lettuce: ((Eyes widen)) Oh no, it must mean you've been infected by... DUB FEVER!! ((shudder))  
  
Everyone except the aliens: ((shudder))  
  
Tart: What's dub fever?  
  
Mint: It's where the Americans get ahold of you and make you into a complete kid role model. No blood, no violence, and no swearing.  
  
Kish: Oh... ((shudder))  
  
Everyone: ((shudder))  
  
# Chapter 2, Take 2 #  
  
Ichigo was currently on a semi-romantic date with the fat cat we forgot the name of from the latter books. They were at the fat cat's mommy's house, the mistress of the house being conveniently out on errands, meaning the fat cat had shoved her into a Ziploc bag. (If you do not like the idea of shoving a cat into a Ziploc bag, believe that she really was out on errands.)  
  
The two feline lovers were having a wonderful dinner of maggoty fish. Because the fat cat was a good momma's-boy, he hadn't given Ichigo a good night kiss yet. He had, however, given her a good morning kiss, a good afternoon kiss and a good in-between meals kiss, and a thanks-for-sleeping- with-mee-its-better-with-you-than-with-my-mommy kiss.  
  
Suddenly the fat cat's mommy burst in through the door. (A/N Do cat's even have doors? Oh well, think of it as a convinient plot device. ((shrug)) )  
  
Fat cat's mommy: Fat cat! What do you think you're doing!?  
  
Ichigo: ((whispering)) What is she doing here? She was supposed to be out on errands all night!  
  
Fat cat: I guess the author let her out of the bag...  
  
((A loud crashing sound is heard. Alarms go off and cat police burst through the door))  
  
Cat Police: Fat cat, you have been charged with breakage of the fourth wall. You have the right  
  
to remain silent...(blah blah blah, you know the drill.)  
  
Fat cat: ((being dragged off)) WTF? What is the fourth wall?  
  
Ichigo: Oh no, fat cat!... Oh well, now I won't be late for my date with Kish! ((skips away))  
  
Director (Roae): CUT!! Ichigo, that date is only in the fic!  
  
Ichigo: Oh, I thought that fourth wall thing was in the script!  
  
Roae: Noooo......  
  
Ichigo:... then I think we have a problem... (A/N Ya know, cause fat cat has been arrested...)  
  
...To be continued...  
  
# Chapter 8, Take 5 #  
  
Pie takes out a magic wand, and waves it over Ichigo. Ichigo's clothes melt   
  
off, and her boobs etc. pop out. Much nose bleeding occurs.   
  
Masaya: ((rubs nose)) What the heck? This isn't blood! This is cherry sauce!  
  
Keiichiro: ((famous dazzling smile (A/N Sure...) )) Well, we couldn't use REAL blood. But   
  
still, looks like the machine is malfuctioning again... ((goes off to fix machine.))  
  
Kish: I know how to get real blood! ((punches Masaya in the nose))  
  
Masaya: Whad dah hell? You broge my node!  
  
Kish: ((grin)) Serves you right! ((him and Masaya get in a fist fight while everyone else cheers them on))  
  
Roae: CUT!! ((sighs and shakes head)) I don't get payed enough for this...  
  
# Chapter --, Take -- #  
  
Cat Judge: Fat cat, you have been sentenced to two years jail time for the breakage of the fourth wall-  
  
Fat cat: ((stands up)) But I need to help act out Quicksilver Foxx and MarMar's fic!  
  
((Loud crashing sound is heard as alarm is heard))  
  
Fat cat: Shit... hey waitta minute, how come no one else around here gets in trouble?  
  
Guard dragging him off: We have licenses.  
  
# Chapter 1, Take 4 #  
  
They kissed passionately for half an hour, then Ichigo burst into a fit of coughing.  
  
Keiichiro: What's wrong Ichigo?  
  
Ichigo: ((cough cough)) Asthma. I shouldn't be kissing for that long, but I'm getting paid a   
  
LOT. ((Coughs and holds up a paycheck while money signs appear in her eyes))  
  
Keiichiro: ((major sweatdrop))  
  
Roae: ((major sweatdrop)) CUT!! Where's her stunt double? And get her an inhaler!  
  
# Chapter 5, Take 1 #  
  
Pudding had somehow gotten into the spaceship and was chasing Tart around with an expression on her face that suggested that   
  
she had been fused with the DNA of a lovestruck chimp. Don't ask.  
  
Pudding: But it's supposed to be a fuzzy streetlamp!  
  
Roae: This makes more sense.  
  
Pudding: But it isn't supposed to make sense!  
  
Roae: ... Oh yeah... I forgot how twisted Foxx was... never mind then.  
  
(A/N And, ironically enough, as I typed that I was eating toast dipped in chocolate milk. Hey, it's better than it sounds!)  
  
# Chapter 5, Take 3 #  
  
"You were looking for me?" Masaya asked, poking Kish on the pressure point on the back of his neck. Kish collapsed to the ground,   
  
unconscious.  
  
Masaya: I thought that wasn't supposed to do anything cause he has different pressure points?  
  
Roae: Hmmm... ((stares at him, then bends down and peels off fake elf ears)) ... KISH!!! You were supposed to do this scene, not   
  
your stunt double! Where is that stupid alien?!?  
  
Masaya: ((thinking: Oh, I thought Kish was a fake alien... darn. I didn't get to knock him out.))  
  
Kish: Oops.  
  
# Chapter 5, Take 7 # (A/N Yeah, this chappie has good blooper points. I like it!)  
  
Kish sighed again. "She did have something to do tonight. She went to go have sex with Ryou."  
  
Once again, only one word penetrated his head.  
  
Masaya: Oh, Ryou? I have a date with him tomorrow. I have to go get something for him. ((walks off))  
  
Kish: ...................................WHAT?!?!  
  
(A/N Oh my god, I actually did shounen-ai? What has happened to me? First I become a fangirl and now this... HELP ME!!)  
  
# Chapter 6, Take 1 #  
  
Narrator: I don't have a problem with cheerfulness in general. THE PROBLEM IS YOU! YOU ARE TOO PERFECT, ALL THE GIRLS LOVE YOU, YOU ARE TOO SMART AND TOO EARTH CONSIOUS, AND ALL WEIRD AND MUSHY! YOU ARE LIKE THE STUPID PERFECT ANNOYING EVIL ANNOYING STUPID ANNOYING THINGY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Masaya: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! You didn't cuss. YOU HAVE DUB FEVER!  
  
Narrator: ...... No, it was in the script. ((hands the script to Masaya so he can check for himself))  
  
Masaya: ......THEN THE SCRIPT HAS DUB FEVER! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! ((drops it and runs away))  
  
Narrator: ((sweatdrop)) And I thought Roae was paranoid...  
  
Roae: ((from other room)) HEY, I HEARD THAT!  
  
.  
  
# Chapter 6, Take 2 #  
  
gust of wind blows by and blows off narrators invisibility cloak. Kish appears in boxers with hearts all over.  
  
Roae and TMM people: ((burst out laughing))  
  
Kish: ((blushes and runs to get cloak))  
  
(A/N: I know it's an old one, but the thought of that happening... LOL!)  
  
# Chapter --, Take --#  
  
Fat cat: ((in jail)) God damned authors... ((...I think you know the drill))  
  
(Somewhere else)  
  
Foxx, MarMar, and Roae: ((sneeze))  
  
!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!  
  
Okay guys, that's it for now. I know it's bad... sigh. But I couldn't make you wait any longer. I hate that stupid Computer God... I hope this is good enough for you! ((grin))  
  
And I think someone has rearranged the chapters, so some of these may be wrong... oh well! ((sweatdrop)) 


	9. Kish breaks up mintzakuro

Chapter 4: Kish encounters Mint and Zakuro, and breaks them up  
  
HEY! MARMAR AND QUICKSILVER ARE BACK IN ACTION!  
  
MarMar: About time too. Now, I don't have to worry about quicksilver screwing up the story. (Swings purse ominously)  
  
Quicksilver: Erp...  
  
Yes! We are back again, and the filler shall stop! Thank you wonderful readers for bearing with us! Roae actually did a pretty good job uploading and on the blooper page. So, we let her do the disclaimer!  
  
Roae: YES!!!!!!!! (punches air)  
  
Oh yes, thank you Krys for the cookies. Sorry about the asterisk fiasco. And, welcome amme moto! Are you related to MarMar in any way? You sure sound like her.  
  
Disclaimer. Yet again. Yay, Roae is here again! For the disclaimer anyway. My life on the computer is very brief. I'm dying already. Quicksilver Foxx: Move over. You're not really supposed to type much anyways...bad girl. Roae: RARRR!!!!!!!!! (bites off one of quicksilver's adorable furry fox ears (Mar Mar: Yeah right. On the adorable part, I mean)) Disclaimer(for real, this time): We don't own anything. Not a fucking thing. If you sue us, all you'll get is 2 pennies and a bit of furry cheese. Oh, and Mar Mar will give up her little brother too. Quicksilver: me too! Me too!  
  
Kish next encountered Mint. She was (surprise!) getting drunk with Zakuro. Too bad minors aren't allowed to drink by law, because Mrs. Aizawa's collection of $2,000,000,000 wine was growing thin, and if they were allowed to drink in public, the local bar would have gone out of business.  
  
How Kish got into the Aizawa's wine cellar is beyond us, but who really cares?  
  
When Kish saw the two lovers, he announced his presence with a cocky "How is Ichigo doing these days, Mint?" Neither of the girls noticed or cared about the name at the end and what it could mean.  
  
All they cared about was that the other's shirt was almost completely ruined, hanging to their beautiful shoulders by only a few feeble threads, which they were trying to bite off. Mint yelled "Ribbon Mint Echo!" and Zakuro yelled "Ribbon Zakuro Pure!"  
  
Nothing happened.  
  
"Hey, Mint honey, do you think these powers don't work anymore? Maybe alchohol keeps the animal genes from infesting when we transform." Zakuro tried to reason, but to no avail, because alchohol's main effect is to prevent common sense from infesting.  
  
"Zakuro, where is your beautiful furry ears coming from your beautiful purple hair and your beautiful fluffy tail coming out of your beautiful ass?" Mint asked, not entirely in complete grammer.  
  
Zakuro giggled. "I dunno, but my ass is right here, if y'wanna see it..."  
  
Kish cleared his throat. Zakuro looked up. Mint had her head up Zakuro's skirt, and had better things to look at.  
  
So Kish tried again. Zakuro forced Mint out of her skirt, hoping that as soon as Kish said whatever he was going to say he would leave and they could continue.  
  
Mint looked up. "Yes? What do you want, Kish?"  
  
Kish grinned evilly. (He had a score or two to settle with Mint; Here's a clue: it involved honey, itchy powder, and super glue). "I have news about Ichigo."  
  
Zakuro raised an eyebrow. "We'll see Ichigo at work tomorrow. No need to bug us with news about the brat on our days off."  
  
"Yes, but this is urgent. Mint, I think you will find this information fascinating."  
  
Mint was caught between interest for what was up with Ichigo and trying to pretend she didn't care in front of Zakuro. "Um, ok...I don't really know...just tell me..."  
  
Kish grinned at the girl's stammers. "Zakuro, you might want to hear this too..."  
  
Zakuro, who had managed to go to sleep in the last .5 seconds, woke up.  
  
'"Ichigo is..." Kish paused a moment for effect, which only served to make the girl's sweatdrop, "Ichigo is cheating on you, Mint."  
  
Mint stood in shock for hallf an hour. When she regained her senses, she shouted "I don't believe you! Ichigo wouldn't do that! Ichigo is wonderful! Her strawberry hair is beautiful, her strawberry eyes are beautiful, her strawberry lips are beautiful, her pale skin is beautiful, her ice cream scoop breasts are beautiful...."  
  
Zakuro stood in shock for about a billion years, then whapped Mint over the head with a bottle of wine. "How dare you betray me!!!!!!!???????? You swore me eternal love! I hate you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she stormed off.  
  
Mint took that as an excuse to scream at Kish "You lie! Its just another stupid take over the world excuse!"  
  
Kish sighed. "What world domination? I'm pretending to be trying to take over the world so that I can peek up the mew mews' skirts and be there to see when their boobs pop out of their suits when they're fighting. One of these days..." Kish wandered away out of the Aizawa's cellar, leaving Mint crying and hugging herself and repeating "I don't believe it, I don't believe it..." until she really didn't believe.  
  
Oh yes, before we leave, we have to announce the winner of the pokemon contest.  
  
Quicksilver: ME! YAY!  
  
MarMar: Shut up, baka. Actually, it was kish.  
  
Kish: WOO HOO! (Does the happy dance)  
  
Thank you all for reviewing. We won't update until we have at least 50 reviews! Bwuahahahahahahahahahahahaha! 


	10. Kish finds out more stuff

Chapter 5: Where we learn some disturbing news about pie, R. and K. are enlightened, and tart and pudding die (but come back again)  
  
Disclaimer! Disclaimer! Mar Mar and Quicksilver: Yay! Roae finally went home! Roae: Guess again! Mar Mar and Quicksilver: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Roae: Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha(Etc.)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Disclaimer: We refuse to deny our ownership to Tokyo mew mew!!! From now on we really do own it! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! FEEL THE POWER!!!!!!!!!!!! Lightning strikes us AAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! FLAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Roae: mmm...mustard is good... Mar Mar: Shut up! Barbeque sauce is better! (ok, ok, we don't own anything. Happy yet?)  
  
Hi again! Well, even though we don't have 50 reviews yet, and even though we don't know if we've posted this chapter already, we're updating anyway! We're so nice, aren't we... And now we will do review responses for the last chapter:  
  
Quicksilver: hey! we've never really done that before. Is this fair?  
  
MarMar: Uh... sure why not?  
  
Well, we guess that from now on add reader responses just because. Review, and get a personalized message from yours truly.  
  
Darkfire 180- Heres the thing: you know where we live, but not how to get to where we live. So unless you're going to overexert yourself to find us, your knowledge is useless. And if you did go through all the trouble to track us down we would feel special, and that would defeat the purpose. Bleeehhhhhh........  
  
Sailor Silver sky: Thank you! Your appreciation makes us feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside...like a toasted marshmallow...or toast that is left outside too long...  
  
Quicksilver: But marshmallows are warm and goopy on the inside! Hmmm...  
  
MarMar: Yup. Oh well... (eats marshmallow) Jeez, this is so messy....  
  
Quicksilver: Hey! you left me the warm and fuzzy toast!  
  
Cherrydemon: Thank you! Now we feel like Quicksilver's toast! Don't worry, we don't know what's wrong with us either. Its probably either hard to pronounce or is called 'stoopedity'.  
  
Amme Moto: Hi! No, you probably aren't related to me, cuz if you were, you would be one of my boring, conservative relatives. Ick.  
  
Quicksilver: A big hi to all of our faithful readers like KrysofDeath, Dark Mew Angel, and Roae etc. who are out there. HI!  
  
MarMar: And of course DF, but she doesn't count. Now we shall start the fic...  
  
NOW, OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION's previews:  
  
Kish: (eye twitch)  
  
MarMar: Okay, fastforwarding... blah blah blah...  
  
Tart was being chased around his bedroom by Pudding. By mistake, he tripped over a pillow and toppled onto the bed. Pudding followed suit. "Hey, quit!" Tart said, but without much conviction. "We're minors y'know!"  
  
But before they could violate the law, Pudding's naughty monkey swung into the room. It was mad at Pudding for not having slept with it ever since she started going out with Tart. It leaned over and whispered into Tart's ear. Tart burst into gales of sobs. "Monkey says that you're cheating on me!" (not the brightest of bulbs over this one's head).  
  
The monkey sniggered at the stupid alien, then whispered the same to Pudding. This caused a fresh outburst of wailing. "Monkey says you're cheating on me!" Tart said awed, "No way! Really? I didn't know that!"  
  
"No you're not!"  
  
"Yes I am! Wait...what are we arguing about?"  
  
"Never mind. How about we kill each other and die in each others arms! It would be very romantic!"  
  
"Yeah! I just saw this cool soap about that!"  
  
"OK!"  
  
They knifed each other in the chest (much to the monkey's delight) and appeared in the other place. Tart took one look at Pudding's new sexy devil outfit, and said "Whoa... I forgive you. So hot! Yeowza!" This was followed by some things that shouldn't go into much detail in this fanfic.  
  
Back on earth, the monkey started getting hungry. He performed secret monkey mage magic, (SMMM for short) and brought back Pudding and Tart. Pudding said "Hey! We're alive? How did that happen?" Tart replied "Oh the poor, innocent monkey is hungry! How sad!" They fed the monkey then continued their sex.  
  
Kish proceeded to the Tokyo café. He entered and saw Keiichiro and Ryou going at it hot n' heavy. Kish cleared his throat and said "As much as your display turns me on and I would like to join and stuff, I'm on business."  
  
Without looking up, Ryou said "You're not blowing up Tokyo are you? Because I'm not interested." Kish rolled his eyes, and said "No. Ichigo is cheating on you guys." Silence. Simultaneously, Ryou and Keiichiro said, "No way! Ichigo wouldn't cheat on me! Hey, wait a minute." They looked at each other. "You were going out with Ichigo too? What a coincidence!" Then mad vein signs appeared on their reads. "Ichigo betrayed me? That little slut! Stop talking when I talk!"  
  
Kish interrupted. "As cute as this is, um, I've gotta go and convince everyone else Ichigo's cheating on them."  
  
"Ok," said Ryou and Keiichiro together. Then they went back to making out. They had forgotten everything but each other. Kish looked back longingly for a moment, then magically transported himself back to his spaceship.  
  
He looked around, and located Pie by hearing the continuous, monotone chant of "3.14, 3.14...." in front of the master computer, watching porn.  
  
Pie whirled around, and stammered "3.1- I mean, oh, uh., hi, I really was doing, uh, research, but this pop-up came up and wouldn't go away...3.14..."  
  
Kish counted the number of words Pie said without saying '3.14', and exclaimed "A new record! 21 words!" Pie blushed. Kish stared at him. "What, do you have sex with the computer or something?"  
  
Pie looked away, ashamed. "Uh...yeah." He said quietly. "Ohmygod!" Yelled Kish. "That's what happened to my computer! You owe me a new keyboard!!!!" (Quicksilver: it was all marmar's idea! I swear!)  
  
Kish proceeded to Tart's room. "Hey, Tart, I was wondering..."  
  
Tart looked up from fucking Pudding. "Dude, keep it short."  
  
"Are you dating Ichigo?"  
  
"No way! I only love my Pudding-wudding!"  
  
Pudding nuzzled Tart. "And I only love my Tarty-warty!" The monkey sweatdropped, and Kish did an anime fall. "Oh, uh, I um, must be going." As soon as Kish got back to earth, he vomited all over an innocent bystander.  
  
Back on the job, Kish thought to himself, 'Ive looked at all of the pairings in the summary and whatnot, and all that's left is the fat cat. I might as well go warn that sneaky son of a beeitch.'  
  
Cliffhanger! Sort of.  
  
REVIEW, AND WE'LL UPDATE!!!!!!!  
  
Bye, now! 


	11. panty mystery

The Mystery of the panty theif  
  
Hi! Since the end of the fanfic is pretty darn close, we decided to put in some filler.  
  
Audience: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Bwahahahahaha! But yes! We can't be ending the story on you just yet. That would be boring.  
  
Quicksilver: And anyway, we don't have 100 reviews yet. Maybe the torture will stop when we get that much.  
  
We also have the reader responses section newly in place! It would be a pity to end before we got to use it a couple of times.  
  
Reader Responses ....................................................................................................... DF: Geez! We were just kidding...anyways, hi!  
  
PS: Now we feel special! And plus, what would you say to your Mom: "Oh, Mom, can you drive me to Mar Mar's house so I can kill her slowly and painfully?" Or if you don't, after your visit she'll ask "What did you do at Mar Mar's house?" and you'll say "Oh, nothing, just killed her over and over. You know, the usual."  
  
PPS: Anyways, you don't know where quicksilver lives. Quicksilver: HAHAHAHA!  
  
DF: Glare  
  
Quicksilver: Eep...  
  
Dark Mew Angel: Thanks! We thought that the part with Pie was pretty good too... Tell your friend that yes, the fucking is funny, but the story is fucking funny too! ;)  
  
Amme Moto: Hi! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
I guess the fat cat is blown up now...but he always comes back to life sometime or another...  
  
Roae: Hi! You don't like mustard? How strange...ah well.  
  
Lita Kino/Sailor Jupiter: Hi! Yup yup, this is our fiftieth review...I guess we have to update.  
  
Quicksilver: Darn. More work for me.  
  
MarMar: -.- Don't be a whiney baby.  
  
Quicksilver: Hey, this thing is saved on my account, and my computer and I have to write all the random filler stuff and disclaimers and ITS NO FAIR!! WAAAAA!  
  
Kish: Okay......someone has p.m.s......  
  
Anyways, thanks for reviewing!  
  
GenkiAnimeGurl: Thank you so much for the review and the ice cream!  
  
Quicksilver: RARR! MINE!  
  
Roae: RARR! MINE!  
  
MarMar: RARR! MINE!  
  
(Big ass bitch fight for ice cream ensues)  
  
Pie: 3.14... 3.14... 3.14... (Grabs ice cream and leaves)  
  
Quicksilver: Hey! No fair! .................................................................................................... Disclaimer: We do not own anything in the universe except for a couple of nickels, a happy meal, and an Evanescence CD.  
  
MarMar: That CD's mine!  
  
Quicksilver: (sticks tongue out) Fine. Meanie. Good Charlotte's cooler anyways.  
  
MarMar: Is not! And I have two Linkin Park CDs anyways, so the disclaimer LIED!  
  
Ps: In the last chapter, Roae said in the disclaimer 'Mmm...mustard .' We would like to make a correction. Roae does not like mustard. She prefers ketchup.  
  
Roae: KETCHUP RULES OVER ALL!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (sprays bottle of ketchup everywhere) Goat: Maaaaah.(eats grass)  
  
...................................................................................................... We have more than fifty reviews! This makes us feel warm and fuzzy inside. PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF OUR MINDS ACTUALLY CARE, AND REVIEW THE STORY! OF COURSE, THE PEOPLE IN OUR MINDS DON'T CARE FOR US ALL THAT MUCH EITHER, BUT YOU GET THE POINT!  
  
Quicksilver: YES!!!!!!!!! HALFWAY TO THE CENTENNIAL MARK, BABY! LETS TRY TO MAKE 51 into 100 in a filler chapter and one real chapter!  
  
Roae: Actually, 51 is a little past halfway... it's 51% out of 100 or... (starts a math lecture) Quicksilver: Shaddap.  
  
Keep up the good work!  
  
Also...  
  
Quicksilver: GAH! SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE! (bows on all fours) It won't happen again!  
  
Ps: is anyone still reading this? No? ah well... ....................................................................................................  
  
Once upon a time, long, long ago (well, not that long ago) in chibi Tokyo land, the Mew mews were having a problem. Somebody had stolen Ichigo's garter strap!  
  
"EEEE!" shrieked lettuce, who had become strangely chibified and bubble headed for the sake of this chapter. "Oh no! There's a thief on the loose!"  
  
Mint sweat dropped. "Well, obviously, baka. Watch out!"  
  
"Huh?" Lettuce looked down.  
  
Boom! Lettuce toppled over. Where she had been standing, Pudding popped up.  
  
"EEK! PUDDING KNOCKED ME OVER WITH ONE OF HER STUPID TRICKS!"  
  
Tears welled up in Pudding's eyes. "You...you no likey Pudding wudding's trickies?" (Roae: AAAUGH! She has been...BABIEFIED!)  
  
"Hehe...o...oh, well, of course I do, but, just not when you knock me over..."  
  
"WAAAA!"  
  
Chibi Zakuro looked up from Blues Clues. "Hey! Stop being all noisy! Blues Clues just murdered the dancing salt and pepper shakers!"  
  
Chibi Ichigo toddled over to join the group. "Huh? Who murdered who?"  
  
Zakuro looked at Ichigo. "Didn't someone steal something from you?"  
  
Ichigo looked surprised. "Umm, really? Err, I mean, yes they did. It was a garter strap."  
  
Pudding was exited. "I know! I know! LET'S FIND THE THIEF!"  
  
"But Pudding that could be dangerous!" protested Lettuce. Pudding's eyes teared up. "But...but, I read mystery stories and everything! I know what to do!"  
  
The group had no choice but to give in. "Fine...crybaby," Mint muttered, the last part under her breath. Pudding was ecstatic. "YES! LET'S INTERVIEW ICHIGO!"  
  
"Umm...Pudding?" Ichigo questioned. It was too late. Pudding had zoomed out of the room, brought back her detective outfit, and tied Ichigo to a chair in less time than it takes Masaya to eat a big mac with extra onions (A/N: very, very little time). Pudding popped a pipe (Roae: Try saying THAT ten times fast!) bigger than her head into her mouth. "So, Ichigo," she said, speaking around the pipe. "What was the date when your garter was stolen?"  
  
"Date? I wasn't on a date...ow!" Mint banged Ichigo's head with her cup of tea, which kick started Ichigo's brain. "Well, um, I think it was yesterday."  
  
"Yesterday? And what exactly were you doing yesterday?"  
  
"Well, Kish came over, and we did stuff in my room, then Masaya came over, and we did stuff in my room, then Keicchiro and Ryou came up and we did double penetration..."  
  
Lettuce keeled over. "Gack! Disgusting sluttiness! Cannot cope...auggh..."  
  
"...And then the fat cat came over, and we did stuff in my room, and then the janitor came over, and we did stuff in my room, and... that's it."  
  
"So!" said Pudding triumphantly. "Six new suspects! That narrows it down!" She noticed Mint, Zakuro, and Lettuce staring at her. "Well...not really."  
  
A firefly briefly appeared over Ichigo's head. "Hey....," she said, "How do you know the rest of the Mew Mews didn't steal the garter?"  
  
Pudding looked up. "THAT'S IT!" she yelled. She and her monkey did a body search on each of the mew mews (including herself: a real bright bulb) and searched their rooms. As soon as the pandemonium died down, and the janitor stopped taking pictures of the naked mew mews, the authoresses popped up.  
  
"Hi!" said Quicksilver. Roae scratched her head and continued to worship her mini statue of yami Bakura. MarMar spotted Roae, stole the statue, and raped it. (Roae: o.O Ewwww... poor statue.)  
  
"AUGH!," shrieked Lettuce. "SPIRITS OF THE PAST HAVE COME TO CLAIM OUR SOUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLSSSSSSSSSSS!"  
  
"Nah, we just want to tell you that none of the mew mews stole the garter," said MarMar, snogging the Bakura statue. "Don't waste your time," said Roae, and the threesome faded out. .................................................................................................. Quicksilver: Hey! How did Roae get in here again? I thought she was at Disney world!  
  
Roae (large mickey mouse ears on her head): Hehehe.  
  
......................................................................................................  
  
Zakuro looked odd. "That was...strange. O.o"  
  
"Does anyone know who those weirdos are?" asked Mint.  
  
Pudding looked upset. "I searched everyone and everywhere, but couldn't find a single thing! I was just wasting my time! WAAAAAAAAAAAA!"  
  
................. Part Two (or not.).................... "Well, now what do we do?" Lettuce asked. Pudding was suddenly fine. "Now we interview the suspects!" she said excitedly. She waved her arms and her long sleeves caught the pipe and sent it flying. "Ryou and Keiichiro are in the kitchen. I'll call them. RYOU!!! KEIICHIRO!!!" yelled Mint. Keiichiro came out of the kitchen holding a knife to hide the fact he had just been making out with Ryou. "You called?" he said. Suddenly Pudding ran into him chasing after her pipe. Now the knife went sailingthrough the air. Everyone watched it go slow-motion through the air as the music became all dramatic. The janitor appeared out of a hallway and Lettuce quickly covered Pudding's eyes. A dull thud was heard as the knife hit the poor janitor in the chest, leading him to a bloody death. The horror... THE HORROR!!! (Quicksilver: e.e' (smacks Roae over the head) Roae: . Ahem.) Pudding fought against Lettuce, yelling, "What happened? WHAT HAPPENED?!" Zakuro said dully, "You lost a suspect." and went back to reading 'Blues Clues Salt & Pepper Murder." "Well... what do we do with him?" asked Ichigo. "You can put him in the freezerin the basement with the other two janitors." said Keiichiro cheerfully before going back in the kitchen. The Mew Mews put him downstairs with the janitor who had been lit on fire and the janitor who had learned something incriminating about Ichigo (cough- slut-cough)and died a mysterious death the next day. Pudding (who still didn't know what was going on) said cheerfully, " Okie dokie, let's interview a different suspect!" Before anyone could say anything, she disappeared and then reappeared with Kish in tow. After she searched him and Ichigo stopped drooling, he was tied to the chair. A spotlight was pointed at him and Pudding grabbed a microphone. "Where were you on the date of yesterday?" She asked through the microphone... which thankfully wasn't on. "Well, I... um..." said Kish. Keiichiro suddenly appeared out of the kitchen and plugged the mike into the speakers for Pudding. "Thank you Keiichiro!" Pudding yelled happily while the rest of the group cried and covered their ears. Kish pulled out of the chair and smashed the mike, causing the speakers to squeel loudly. (Roae: Ouchies. Gotta hate that noise.) Mint finally unplugged the stupid speakers. Pudding sat over in the corner and cried while Lettuce comforted her. "WAAAAAAAAAAAH! NOW MIKEY IS BROKEN! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO INTERVIEW THE SUSPECTS?!?" "You speak normally," Mint said sweatdropping.  
  
"Have we confirmed that Kish and Keiichiro are innocent?" asked lettuce, who wasn't very sure what was going on. (Mar Mar: That makes two of us...)  
  
"YEAH!" said pudding. "I talked, they said something, and none of them said that they stole the garter!"  
  
Zakuro did an anime fall. "Well, we still have to interview Masaya, Ryou, Pie, Tart, Masha, a couple of kirama anima..."  
  
Pudding looked disheartened. "So...basically everyone? Oh well..." She brightened. "At least we made some progress!"  
  
............................................................................................... Who will the culprit be? What shall happen to the Mew Mews? What about the dead janitor in the basement? Why are we asking you this, considering we know and you don't?  
  
Read and review on to find out! And leave your guess on who it is and why on your review! If you guess both the character and the reason, we'll give you a free batch of Mar Mar's metaphorical cookies, a Mar Mar and Quicksilver's little non-metaphorical (unfortunately) little brothers, a metaphorical Evanescence CD, and a Masaya plushie (we don't want it anyways)!  
  
Ps: we won't update till we have at least 57 or more reviews! The number is subject to change without further notice! Mwahahahahahahaha!  
  
Wow, this was really long compared to our other chapters... too bad most of it is us babbling... 


	12. panty mystery part 2

The Mystery of the Panty thief. PART TWO!

Disclaimer: umm...we think you know the deal...

Lawyers: NO! YOU MUST SAY IT!

Fine! Wedon'townanythingatallandifwedid,wewouldruletheworld!!!!!!!!!

Reader responses:

Quicksilver: well, we got many more reviews than expected....;;

Amme Moto: Thanks for reviewing, Amme! We can't tell you if you're right or wrong or whatever since it would spoil the story, but whatever...

Darkfire180: Thanks for reviewing!...even if you threaten to torture us and stalk us or whatever, your review is still appreciated ! (we know you really love us)

Lita Kino/Sailor Jupiter: Thanks for reviewing! We can't tell you if you're right or wrong, though...not yet, at least...

KrysofDeath: Thanks for reviewing etc! We didn't exactly update 'soon,' but this is close enough...

Anachi: Yay! Our puny fanfic has moved someone enough that they cry out of funniness! We feel so proud! . Thanks for reviewing!

Dark Mew Angel: Yes, it might be Masaya, but it might not... :3 We can't tell yet...

Thanks for the ice cream!

Quicksilver: . I have to run away and hide it now... (runs away)

MarMar: COME BACK HERE, YOU!!!!!! (swings purse of doom)

Quicksilver: Augh!

Anyways...; Thanks for reviewing!

Me and no one cares: THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU! You reviewed like a gazillion times!

Dark Mew Angel (again!): Yes, now we do have more than enough reviews to update! So we guess we have to....;;;

On the flaming thing, no problemo!

The story so far: The Mew Mews were still trying to find out who stole Ichigo's garter. They had eliminated themselves, Kish, Keiichiro, and the janitor, who died.

A night after the first interviews, long after everyone was asleep, Lettuce heard someone creeping into her room. "Greahhhlegaregareg..." she mumbled. She turned over sleepily, but didn't see anyone. It was probably just the wind...

The rest of the night, she slept like a log.

Early that morning though, the whole of Tokyo was awakened by a tremendous scream. The mew mews and their fan club (Ryou, Keiichiro, Pie, Tart, Kish, fat cat, ghost of the dead janitor, a couple of kirama animals etc) ran to lettuce's room, vaguely the direction the scream was coming from.

There, there was a sight that shocked them to their very core! (AN: except the thief. We'll give you a hint: the thief is in the group listed.) (Quicksilver: That doesn't say much, you know.) (MarMar: Oh well...) Lettuce was standing in her nightgown in the center of the room, a shocked and bewildered expression on her face. She was gasping and choking. All around her were pieces of slutty lingerie, and all of her drawers in her dresser were torn open. When she saw the group looking at her, she fainted.

........................................................................................................

Lettuce woke up lying on the couch in the Tokyo dining room. The mew mews were gathered anxiously around her. Mint handed lettuce her cup of tea. "Strange that Lettuce had all of those slutty underwear things, I wouldn't have expected it," Zakuro muttered under her breath to Ichigo.

"Okay guys," Pudding yelled, "I've checked the room for fingerprints, but there weren't any! The person who did this must have been wearing gloves or something. There were 542 pieces of underwear though." Lettuce looked shocked. "How many things did you say?"

"Ummm....I forgot. Oops."

Zakuro rolled her eyes. "542, dimwit." Lettuce paled, and breathed harder. "Pudding? What color were these?"

"Green, I guess. A couple of lacy blues, some satin stuff, one with teddy bears, and some turquoise and red ones."

Lettuce burst into tears. "They st...stole my...my cat patterned one! I just bought it y...y...yesterday! Wahh!"

A light bulb appeared above Mint's head. "What? Cat patterned?"

"Y...yes! WAAAAA!"

Mint smiled slowly. "I bet that the fat cat stole it! Remember, he was with Ichigo also, two days ago, and could have stolen her garter!"

Ichigo looked up sharply, and then shook her head. "No, it's not him!" Mint looked at her. "How do you know?"

Ichigo paled. "Well, um, how could he have opened the door? He's too short and fat!"

"Yeah..." said Lettuce slowly. "I remember somebody opened my door and walked in my room!"

"I guess..." Mint sighed, and looked disappointed. Pudding however, was ecstatic. "I bet that it's a cat fanatic! Or someone with a thing about Ichigo! Or both!"

"Maybe a cat Kirama animal?" Ichigo suggested.

"Maybe..."

............................................................................................................

The next day brought new light onto the case. Someone had stolen Mint's pink maximizing bustiere!

Mint didn't seem very concerned. "Oh well," she said indifferently, "There's more where that came from."

Pudding, however, was ecstatic. "THIS PROVES THAT WHOEVER IS STEALING THIS STUFF IS AN ICHIGO FETISH! They like cat prints and pink! I bet that it's either Kish or Masaya!"

"But not Ryou or Keiichiro?" Zakuro asked cynically. "Nah," Pudding replied. "They both would do that except for the fact that they're too entwined with each other. And Keiichiro is already innocent."

"But isn't Kish innocent as well?" asked Lettuce.

"Oh, um...right. I guess the interview didn't prove much after all. Oh well." Pudding looked sad.

Zakuro rolled her eyes, and went back to reading "How blues clues murdered the salt and pepper shakers part two: The revenge of the toaster."

Pudding's logic was sound, though, so everyone went to sleep with their heads spinning with ideas.

............................................................................................................

The thief kept his head down for a week or so, until he stole Zakuro's black and pink striped set of underwear.

Zakuro was upset, but Mint comforted her by the fact that when they played strip poker together, Zakuro could get naked faster.

Pudding was secretly worried. She was the only mew mew the thief hadn't stolen from. She decided to booby trap her room so nobody could get in. This resulted in serious complications when Tart tried to sneak in and give her chocolates.

............................................................................................................

Oddly enough, however, the thief stole next from Pie and Tart! Both of the aliens had a set of silver fishnets and pink pleather Chippendale shorts, which had disappeared that night.

"3.14, 3.14, 3.14, " Pie murmured sadly.

Tart however, was furious. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT THING COST ME? IT COSTED 5 HUNDRED EFFING DOLLARS!"

"Well, that proves that Pie and Tart are innocent," said Pudding happily. "Two less suspects to go!"

"I wonder why their things were matching though," Mint mused.

Expressions of horror stamped onto the Mew Mews features.

"No..." whispered lettuce. Pudding burst into hysterical laughter. "Pie? And Tart? O.o" Zakuro retched. Ichigo ran out of the room.

.....................................................................................................

Later, the mew mews had calmed down enough to interview the aliens. "You say that the short/speedo type things were pink?" Pudding asked.

"Yes, and mighty expensive too!"

Pudding whipped out her pipe, and smoked it, while pacing back and forth. "That must prove that whoever is stealing this stuff is an Ichigo fetish," she said mysteriously. Everyone had guessed this already, but Mint sat bolt upright in her chair, an idea forming in her mind.

After dinner, she pulled pudding aside, and whispered her idea to Pudding. Pudding slowly smiled, and nodded her head. They went upstairs together. "I didn't know Pudding was a lesbian," Lettuce stated. "She must have inner depths none of us have plumbed."

Zakuro was furious. "MINT'S ALREADY BETRAYED ME ONCE IN THIS STORY, SHE WON'T DO IT AGAIN!" She stormed upstairs.

Lettuce and Ichigo heard a scream, and a crash.

"Sorry..." Pudding called.

Zakuro came downstairs, a bucket of glue over her head. "They're working on something," she motioned in sign language. She wouldn't say what.

............................................................................................................

Late that night, when everyone was fast asleep, a dark, hooded figure slinked up the stairs. The figure paused outside of Ryou's room, but heard erotic moaning

(Quicksilver: Hey! I thought everyone was asleep!)

(Mar Mar: They are all asleep! Ryou and Keiichiro were doing it in their sleep.)

(Quicksilver: That sounds hard to maneuver...O.o)

shook it's head, and moved on. It stopped by Pudding's door. It hadn't been there yet...

Slowly, the figure opened the door. All was quiet. It poked a furtive head inside. No noise. Tentatively, it stepped inside.

CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The lights flashed on, and a bucket of glue poured over the figure, and cemented it to the floor. The figure gave a muffled yell. Pudding and Mint jumped out from under the bed, and cried, "AHA! WE HAVE YOU AT LAST!" They did a tribal happy victory dance. The stomping woke the whole café up.

"Never give a soul a rest," the dead janitor mumbled.

............................................................................................................

The next morning, Pudding and Mint called all of the people that we have listed earlier in the fanfic and are too bothered to write out now into Pudding's room, where the figure lay, covered in glue, wearing a cat suit and hooded.

"Mint got suspicious of all of the goings-on and formulated a hypotheses about who the criminal was," Pudding said. "We decided to catch the criminal by my booby trap."

"Your boobies are a trap?" Keiichiro asked, eyeing them. "They don't look that big to me..."

Mint hit him over the head, and he shut up.

"Our theories were right! We caught the criminal, which you see here..." Pudding kicked the gluey figure. "So now, ladies and gentlemen, we shall reveal to you the feared and dreaded and perverted panty thief, the one and only..."

Cliffhanger! When we have at least 75 reviews, we'll update! You have more clues now, so tell us who you think the criminal is, and your theory, and we'll give you all the stuff we listed in the last chapter!

Bye-cha!


	13. panty mystery part 3

The mystery of the panty thief: Pudding and Mint reveal all!

PS: Not literally, of course.

Fanboys: Awww.....

Disclaimer: We might have owned tmm in a past life, but we sure as hell don't now! If we did, well, it wouldn't be rated Y!

Roae: Maybe it's a good thing you guys don't... -.-;

Yay. We have 76 reviews...BUT WE NEED MORE!!!! If you are reading this story and not reviewing (coughalina and Joannacough) REVIEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reader responses:

Darkfire180: Mwee hee hee! We didn't succumb to your murderous ways and tell you at school! But, here is the conclusion anyways!!! Hope you like!

Amme Moto: Well, you'll see who the culprit is soon enough...its rather unexpected...;)

Thanks for reviewing and the cookies!

Quicksilver: (hides cookies) They are mine! Ha ha!

(random ninja squirrel eats cookies)

Quicksilver: -.- Why does this always happen to me?

Roae: MY BIO IS NOT PERVERRTED!!!! I was sooo not perverted in it. I WAS UNDER CONTROLLL!!!!! WA! What, may I ask, is PERVERTED ABOUT MY BIO???  
  
MarMar: .; Now she's done it...

Thanks for reviewing anyways!

Coca and Rose (and etc.): yay! A new reviewer! And now...We have 11$ to split!

Quicksilver: I get four, MarMar gets four, and roae gets three!

Roae: HEY! wait...hn...whatever (is too lazy to do math)

Thanks for reviewing!

Roae(again): yes...I guess we do...

RYOU'S BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! WHEE!!!! MAD FANGIRL CELEBRATION!!!! (MarMar, Quicksilver, and Roae worship pictures of Ryou's incredible hotness and kawainess)

Me and no one cares: Yay! Reviews! Thankie! And cake! We like cake....

Quicksilver: Ryou is MINE!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! And so is bakura, and so is Marik, and so is Duke, and so is Yoko Kurama, and so is Johnny depp, and so is...um...

MarMar: on with the story...

............................................................................................................

Pudding paused dramatically. "The culprit is..." she repeated.

"Yes?" inquired lettuce.

"The culprit is..."

"SHUT THE HELL UP AND TELL US ALREADY OR I WILL MAKE YOUR DEATH SLOW AND PAINFUL!!!!" shrieked Zakuro.

"But if she shuts up, she won't be able to tell us!" Lettuce said.

Zakuro made a hrumphing noise, and folded her arms.

"The culprit is..." Pudding looked at Zakuro staring at her, gulped, and pulled the hood off the figure.

The characters gasped.

"ICHIGO!" Pudding yelled triumphantly. "Ichigo was a kleptomaniac and stole all sorts of stuff!"

"But...but how?" Masaya gaped.

"That's what we wondered too," Mint said smugly. "How could it be? How had her garter belt disappeared then? Remember when the authoresses told us that no mew mew had stolen the garter belt?"

Lettuce and Zakuro nodded.

"Well," continued Mint, "Ichigo had been selling her underwear on the black market to get a bunch of cash."

"I was broke," Ichigo whined miserably.

"We didn't notice, because we usually saw her wearing her clothes. But then, she ran out of underwear. If she sold her garter belt, we would surely notice it missing, and ask nosey questions. So, in a genius move, she pretended somebody stole it, collected the insurance money, then and only then, she sold it." Several heads nodded in understanding.

"After this, she stole things from other people, usually the best and the newest, the things that she liked, and the things that would get her a lot of money. You noticed a pattern in the things that were stolen? Ichigo knew that she would never be suspected, and grew more and more reckless. When ever anyone got suspicious, Ichigo directed the blame towards others. But there was still one question left to be solved."

"What?" Kish asked.

"The question was this: Since Ichigo is a complete and hopeless IDIOT..."

"Hey!" Ichigo said, insulted.

"_How could she have come up with this plan on her own?_" Mint said, ignoring her. "Somebody must have been behind the plot! But who? It must have been someone with crude cunning, no morals, and a twisted perverted mind. This someone is part of our gathering. He is standing here, listening now. He is...THE FAT CAT!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The fat cat, who had been trying to sneak slowly away, was caught in the doorframe. "Help! Mommy!"

Pie and Ryou quickly grabbed him, tied him up, and put him on the floor by Ichigo.

"I knew Ichigo had to have a mastermind behind this," continued Mint. "When I heard her say that the fat cat wasn't the one stealing stuff, and her trying to protect him, I was suspicious. Also, the panties with the cat print on them were a key clue. Ichigo mainly went for pink stuff. Who would want cat panties? A cat, of course. So you see, if anyone found out about the plan, Ichigo would get all the blame, and the fat cat would go away unsuspected. But they underestimated the power of THE MIGHTY MINT!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"Umm, right. Okay." Pudding said as Mint laughed her head off. "Well, anyways, Ichigo stole and sold the stuff, but she had to give some of it to the fat cat, since he controlled her, and gave her the idea. She was his servant."

Suddenly, Ichigo burst into tears. "I ha...had tooo! Boo hoo hoo! He...he _hic_, I ...he...I owed him money and had to pay him back for that time I hired him from Zzzzzzzzzesty Escorts to give me an erotic massage! He...he said that I could pay him back and get some money for myself too, if I, well, did what I did! I paid him back in underwear! Boo hoo hoo!"

"Shut up, slut!" the fat cat snarled. But it was too late!

A random police officer popped out of the cabinet. "You are under arrest! Anything you say can be used against you!"

"Damn, why does this always happen to me?" the fat cat muttered as he was dragged away.

.................................................................................................

Ichigo paid back everyone for the stuff she had stolen, and lived in jail for a long, long, time (or till the next time we need her anyways). The end.

Yes...nobody got the answer right...

Quicksilover: -- It was a plan of genius If I say so myself....

MarMar: Wait! Actually, Amme Moto's friend Lynnia got the riddle right! We now award her with.....

1. Mar Mar's metaphorical cookies(chocolate chip!)

2.MarMar and Quicksilver's little non-metaphorical (unfortunately) little brothers

3. A metaphorical Evanescence CD

4.A Masaya plushie

Savor the moment, Lynnia! YOU ARE RICH!!!!!

No updating until we have ninety reviews! Mwuahahhaahaha!


	14. almost fin

Chapter 6: Fin

Disclaimer: We don't own anything. Sue us, and you'll get 2 pennies, a bit of furry cheese, and the burnt ashes from the last disclaimer.

Roae: And the little fishies!

O.o;;;;

We have many, many reviews!

Quicksilver foxx: (sniffle): its so beautiful, ain't it?

WE NEED ONE HUNDRED REVIEWS TO UPDATE!!!!!!! Nya!

Pms: Quicksilver has written another fanfic!

GASP!!! SHOCK!!!!!!

If you enjoy Harry potter, go read it! Its in her profile!

Quicksilver: :) If we do not get some reviews on my other fanfic, we will not update this one!

Roae: ;; no fair...

Reader responses:

Darkfire180: Exsqueeze us? Look, we have almost TWENTY MORE REVIEWS!!!!!!! (we think...lets see...(counts on fingers)) Thanks for reviewing and what not! We know you really love us...you're just pissy today...

Flamer Yaoi: HI!!!!!!!! WE LOVE YELLING TOO!!! AND LAUGHUNG EVILLY!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Turning the story into manga would be cool...MONEY??? (drool) Random is cool...Brock from pokemon has weird hair.... Thanks for reviewing!

MOOSE!!!!!!!!!

Amme Moto: Hi amme! Hi lynnia! We didn't know mooses had butter...moose is a funny word...

Runaway kid: ....right.....; Yes, we like beer, we also like marshmallows, girls get nosebleeds at boys (quicksilver certainly does...) (Quicksilver: JOHNNY DEPP!!!!!!!) Thank you for the ice cream and the cheese cigars! (says this all really fast)

MarMar: (lights one) COUGHGASPWHEEZECOUGH!!!!! SMOKING CHEESE IS TOXIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! . Heeeee.......

Story ho!

Back in the alley, Ichigo was giving the fat cat a Welcome-back-from-china party (only she and the cat were invited. We'll leave it to you to imagine what that is . Hint: what do you in x-rated porno movies? Yup, you got it.) They were getting it on in a dumpster, rolling around in maggoty fish (it's more fun to eat it like that). "Oh Ichigo," sighed the fat cat romantically, "Life isn't the same without you."

"Oh, fat cat," sighed Ichigo, "My dating scene hasn't been the same with out you either."

"What?"

"Never mind."

With magic powers, Kish had located fat cat. "Oh God!" he moaned. "Ichigo couldn't sink that low." But she could! So Kish went over to give her what-ho (an emphasis on the ho part). Silently, he popped up beside the feline lovers, a hurt look on his face. An hour later, he whined, "It's getting damn hard to hold this pose!" Neko-Ichigo came up for air, and did a double take when she saw Kish. "Oh, uh, Kish honeybuns, I was just...er..."

Kish cut her off. His eyes remained cold. "It's over, bitch." The cat popped up. In catspeak, he asked, "Honey, who's that?" Snarling, Kish replied, "Well, before I knew that this whore had sunk so low, _it_ was my girlfriend." (ouch.)

The fat cat turned to Ichigo, anime tears in his eyes. "But...but...I thought you were mine!" Ryou and Keiichiro popped up, and said "Me Too!" and continued making out.

Masaya followed. Soon after, mint. Soon, the alley was echoing with cries of Me Too! etc. Ichigo sank to the ground, alone, friendless, naked, surrounded by her enemies that all pointed at her pitiful, quivering form (this is the climax of the story peeps) and yelled to high heaven

"**_Slut!"_** Then everyone flung monkey poo at her. She ran away, crying. In the background, Pie popped up, muttering "3.14, 3.14, 3.14..."

That was pretty pathetic....

REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OR NO UPDATION!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	15. some more 'redoes'

Roae's last chapter was so popular, and she has been on good behaivior, so we decided to let her write another one...god, Quicksilver has just realized that she has been practically breaking every rule on ...

Quicksilver: 'No bloopers...' yup, broke that...'have to be 13 to register'...yup, broke that...I am sure that this should be a higher rating...'no review responses' yup, broke that...'no script format' yup, am currently breaking that...

Ah well.

Roae: MY TURN!!!!!!!!!! XD

..................................................................................................

Roae: ((finishes writing on notepad)) Aha! I have completed and perfected my evil plot to take over the Tokyo Soaps! Muahahahaha!!! Now, to start my evil scheme...

(5 minutes later in the Yu-Gi-Oh realm)

Roae: ((appears in Marik's underground... house... place)) Heheheh... ((steals the Millennium Rod from Marik and disappears))

Marik: Hey, that's mine... ;.;

Roae: ((appears in Bakura's apartment)) Hey Bakura.

Bakura: What do you want?

Roae: ((hugs him, then disappears))

Bakura: O.o I'm never going to get used to that...

(5 minutes later in Fanficland)

Roae: Muahahahahaha! The Tokyo Soaps is now mine! You shall give the fanfic to me without any complaint! ((takes control of Foxx and MarMar's minds with the Rod))

Foxx and MarMar: . Yes master...

Roae: And now, read-and-reviewers! (hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge) Time to start the show! I present to you... BLOOPERS PART TWO!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... (etc.)

Wait! Since Foxx and MarMar are... occupied... at the moment, I'll do review responses!

To DarkFire 180: Yes, they are predictable, aren't they? But it's still good, right? For you guys anyway. O.o Well, here's your update!

To ANonYmous: Yes, we kinda established that... um, I dunno. Ask Foxx and MarMar when they get back. I don't run this show. ((sweat drop))

To Amme Moto: Yeah, that's REALLY gross. ((shakes head)) They are SO twisted... anywho... I think they're gonna drag this out as long as possible. It's just the next to last of the actual fanfic chappies... right? O.O

To Dark Mew Angel: Yup! I kinda feel sorry for her, but what the heck! MUAHAHA!! Thanks for the MULTIPLE reviews!

To Roae: ((reads the review)) Oh wait, I wrote this... never mind... ((sweatdrop)) Heheh.

To LilMewBerii: Why thanks! :D Your comment is greatly appreciated!

To Lyssa-chan: Yup, have to agree! And Dark Mew Angel, yeah, we got it.

To Me and No one cares: Well I (Quicksilver randomly bursts in)

Roae: Hey! I was writing this!

Quicksilver: phbthb...XP

I am soooo sorry! ;.; I do not know how I possibly forgot to reply to your review...(sniffles) please forgive me!!! :(

Roae: MY TURN!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (glomps bakura)

Okay, now I'm REALLY starting the chapter!

Really!

You're still reading this?

I feel sorry for you.

ON WITH THE CHAPTER!!!

!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!

# Chapter --, Take -- #

Fat cat: (in jail) Oh, I'll get them... I'll get them.

Roae: ((randomly appears, Rod in tow)) Hello Monsieur Fat Cat, how are you doing? Mind if I mess with your mind? ((lifts the Rod))

Fat cat: No-I-didn't-mean-it-really- ((gets taken control of and dances around the cell, bouncing off the walls))

Roae: Bwahaha... okay, that's enough. I need to get to real bloopers now.

Fat cat: Please get me out of here! I'll work for the fic willingly again! ((sirens blare))

Roae: One, you broke the fourth wall again. Ha! Two, sorry, it's almost done. I don't think you're needed anymore. ((disappears))

Fat cat: ((getting dragged away)) Damn you all to hell and back.

# Chapter 9, Take 1 #

Kish next encountered Mint. She was (surprise!) getting drunk with Zakuro. Too bad minors aren't allowed to drink by law, because Mrs. Aizawa's collection of $2,000,000,000 wine was growing thin, and if they were allowed to drink in public, the local bar would have gone out of business.

Mint: ((drunk)) Dink we dwink toooo muck?

Zakuro: ((splashes water on herself and Mint)) Yes. We need to stop, otherwise we'll run out of wine.

((They leave))

Roae: CUT! Hey, just because I've taken control doesn't mean you can screw up the fic!

Kish: You do.

Roae: I'm supposed to... well, not really... shaddup. ((glare))

# Chapter 9, Take 4 #

"Ichigo is..." Kish paused a moment for effect, which only served to make the girl's sweatdrop, "Ichigo is cheating on you, Mint."

Zakuro: W-wait... she's cheating on Mint... that means she's going out with Mint... No! She's cheating on meeeeee! ((runs out crying))

Kish and Mint: ....... Huh? O.o

(A/N There Magic-chan, I put in a little Zakuro/Ichigo for you. ((sigh)) )

# Chapter 10, Take 2 #

But before they could violate the law, Pudding's naughty monkey swung into the room. It was mad at Pudding for not having slept with it ever since she started going out with Tart. It leaned over and whispered into Tart's ear. Tart burst into gales of laughter. "That monkey says that you're cheating on me!"

Tart and Pudding: burst out laughing

Monkey: But it's true...

Tart and Pudding: ... Wait a minute, you talk? ((look at each other)) $.$ Cha ching!

Monkey: ... Uh oh.

# Chapter 10, Take 5 #

Pie whirled around, and stammered "3.1- I 3.14 mean, 3.14 oh, 3.14 uh., 3.14 hi, 3.14 I 3.14 really 3.14 was 3.14 doing, 3.14 uh, 3.14 research, 3.14 but 3.14 this 3.14 pop-up 3.14 came 3.14 up 3.14 and 3.14 wouldn't 3.14 go 3.14 away...3.14..."

Kish: Oh, okay... ((suddenly notices something)) Oh, wow, you said two words in a row. Pop-up! And every other thing you said was a word! A NEW RECORD! ((claps loudly))

Pie: -.-' 3.14 Thank 3.14 you, 3.14 I 3.14 think 3.14.

# Chapter 10, During Take 6 #

Pie looked away, ashamed. "Uh...yeah." He said quietly. "Ohmygod!" Yelled Kish. "That's what happened to my computer! You owe me a new keyboard!!!!" (Quicksilver: it was all Mar Mar's idea! I swear! Roae: Oh yeah, I'm sure... hentai. (( walks away, shaking head)) Hentai, hentai, hentai, (etc.))

# Chapter 11, Take 1 #

"EEK! PUDDING KNOCKED ME OVER WITH ONE OF HER STUPID TRICKS!"

Pudding: Why thank you. ((walks away calmly))

Everyone: ((sweat drop))

Lettuce: ((still knocked over)) Ooookay... a little help here, people?

# Chapter 11, Take 4 #

"Umm...Pudding?" Ichigo questioned. It was too late. Pudding had zoomed out of the room, brought back her detective outfit, and tied Ichigo to a chair in less time than it takes Masaya to eat a big mac with extra onions .

Roae: Hmmm... Masaya, come here. ((hands him a big mac with extra onions)) Eat this as fast as you can.

Masaya: ... Okay. ((eats really fast, but halfway through starts choking)) Ggggh! Ughh!

Roae: O.O Yikes! ((calls an ambulance))

(Two days later, after he gets out of the hospital)

Masaya: ((finishes the big mac))

Roae: ((checks watch)) So the total time is... 2 days, 3 hours and 7 minutes. Hn. ((goes to watch Pudding))

Pudding: ((tying Ichigo to the chair in veeeeeerrrryyyyy slow motion))

Ichigo: -.-' Help... me...

# Chapter 11, Take 8 #

"Yesterday? And what exactly were you doing yesterday?"

Ichigo: Yesterday? I did nothing. It was so boring... I didn't have a single date with anyone!

All of Ichigo's boy/girlfriends in the room: ... WHAT?!?

Ichigo: Ummm... heheh...

# Chapter 11, Take 12 #

Now the knife went sailing through the air. Everyone watched it go slow-motion through the air as the music became all dramatic. The janitor appeared out of a hallway and Lettuce quickly covered Pudding's eyes. A dull thud was heard as the knife hit the poor janitor in the chest, leading him to a bloody death. The horror... THE HORROR!!!

Mint: Um, Roae?

Roae: WHAT?! I'm trying to be dramatic here!

Mint: ((points))

Janitor: ((pokes the knife a couple of times, then walks away, not caring in the least.))

Everyone: O.o' ...Huh?

Roae: -.- Oh come on, you ruined my moment. Grrr.

# Chapter 12, Take 1 #

A night after the first interviews, long after everyone was asleep, Lettuce heard someone creeping into her room. "I hate you all... Damn you... Die off..." she mumbled.

Intruder: O.O ((creeps right back out))

# Chapter 12, Take 4 #

Zakuro rolled her eyes. "542, dimwit." Lettuce paled, and breathed harder. "Pudding? What color were these?"

Pudding: Lots of pink. And some cat-print ones. Wait a minute, that sounds like Ichigo's stuff. What were you doing in Ichigo's room?

Everyone: O.O ((stares at Lettuce))

Lettuce: I... um...

# Chapter 12, Take 8 #

Tart however, was furious. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT THING COST ME? IT COSTED 5 HUNDRED DOLLARS!"

Everyone: Oh no!

Pudding: It's the return of... DUB FEVER! AHHHH!

Everyone except Roae: ((run around randomly screaming))

Roae: -.-' I really shouldn't have made that up...

# Chapter 12, Take 9 #

Zakuro was furious. "MINT'S ALREADY BETRAYED ME ONCE IN THIS STORY, SHE WON'T DO IT AGAIN!" She stormed upstairs.

(Sirens blare, police come in)

Roae: O.o No! You've got it wrong! That was just an... ECHO! That's right! An echo from the fat cat!

Police dudes: -.- ... Okay! ((leave))

Ichigo: Hey! Why did you stand up for Zakuro and not the fat cat?

Roae: ... I like her.

# Chapter 13, Take 1 #

Pudding paused dramatically. "The culprit is..." she repeated.

"Yes?" inquired lettuce.

"The culprit is..."

"SHUT THE HELL UP AND TELL US ALREADY OR I WILL MAKE YOUR DEATH SLOW AND PAINFUL!!!!" shrieked Zakuro.

"But if she shuts up, she won't be able to tell us!" Lettuce said.

Zakuro made a hrumphing noise, and folded her arms.

"The culprit is..."

Ichigo: Argh! ((shoots Pudding in annoyance)) Me!

Everyone: ((blink blink)) O.o Uhhh...

Ichigo: Ummm... you didn't hear or see anything! ((runs))

# Chapter 13, Take 3 #

"I was broke," Ichigo whined miserably.

Roae: I thought the authoresses were paying you!

Ichigo: Pay cuts. They suck. ((goes on strike))

Roae: ((slump)) This job is harder than I thought...

# Chapter 13, Take 4 #

"We didn't notice, because we usually saw her wearing her clothes. But then, she ran out of underwear. If she sold her garter belt, we would surely notice it missing, and ask nosey questions. So, in a genius move, she pretended somebody stole it, collected the insurance money, then and only then, she sold it." Several heads nodded in understanding.

Roae: You can get INSURANCE on a GARTER BELT? O.o

Ichigo: ((back from strike)) No duh.

Roae: O.O That was a short strike.

Mint: ((whispers to Pudding)) Roae's got a short attention span, doesn't she?

Pudding: ((playing a random video game)) Huh?

# Chapter 13, Take 8 #

"Damn, why does this always happen to me?" the fat cat muttered as he was dragged away.

Roae: As I mentioned before, I don't like you. :P

# Chapter 14, Take -- #

Roae: I can't think of any good ones for this chapter... ((watches Ichigo go running past)) It's perfect how it is... OH GOD, WHAT AM I SAYING?!?! O.O ((throws up))

!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!

Roae: Muahahahahaha! This is so awesome! ((forcing Foxx and MarMar to do random stuff))

(Bakura randomly appears from Yu-Gi-Oh)

Bakura: I knew you were up to something. ((stops the mind control stuff))

Roae: Hey! You ruined my fun... ;.;

Bakura: ((smirks and disappears, taking the Rod))

Foxx and MarMar: Huh? What's going on?

Roae: Heheh... um, bye! ((runs))


	16. the end

Chapter 7: Aftermath etc.

Disclaimer. Sob. Do we really need a disclaimer for this aftermath chapter?

Evil lawyers: yes.

Fine. Meh. We disclaim it and stuff. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Aftermath

It all started with a pencil. But that's boring. Let's get to the nub and gist of this already.

Everyone severed their relationships with Ichigo. Kish never looked at her again, he was so traumatized (besides the fact that he realized that she was an ugly slut.). Finally, he decided to go out with Lettuce. But it just wasn't the same. Maybe it was because of the fact that Lettuce was voted Queen of the Kitchen Utensils in high school and wore her hair in pleated braids. Urgh.

……………

Mint locked herself in her room, both girlfriends gone. She was desolate, alone in the night with no warm body to comfort her in her loneliness, just because of a few drunken words. She sobbed and whined, and was crankier than when she had PMS. Mint swore off all booze (even her beloved beer flavored ice cream) and never touched her mom's chardonnay again.

Finally, one stormy night, the doorbell rang (drumroll, please). A teary-eyed Mint was surprised to see Zakuro, soaking wet. She flung herself into Zakuro's open arms. "Zakuro! Baby! Boy, am I glad to see you! I missed you so much! Heyyy…you're all wet! (wink wink) Why don't you come in and change?..." So, all's well that ends well. We let Mint off too easily.

………….

Ryou and Keiicharo forgave each other, and tactfully fired Ichigo. They couldn't though, because her contract was still active, so they strangled her. (MarMar: Just kidding! Just Kidding! Aaaaa!is burned at the stake by rabid Ichigo fansDon't worry, Ichigo fans, we would never really kill off Ichigo-chan!) Fat cat and his mommy moved to china. Pudding and Tart lived happily ever after. Pie became a billionaire by inventing the first RoboWhore.

Masaya eventually came back to Ichigo. We told you he was stupid. For a while, the two outcasts of society lived happily enough together in Masaya's trashcan in a deserted alley next to a McDonald's store. They had an elite diet of burger grease and rotten fries. And maggoty fish.

One day, Masaya bumped into Kish on the sidewalk. The green haired alien looked up, snarling, and shook Masaya's hand off his shoulder. "What?" Masaya blushed and stammered, "Oh, uh, it's you. I, um have been wanting to apologize. For not believing,…you know. Wait! Come back!" Kish had turned around, marching back to Victoria's Secret that he had come out of. Masaya grabbed Kish's arm. "I've been wanting to tell you…um…"

"Make it quick, I have thongs to buy."

"Well…(Kish was about to kill Masaya so he would get to the point)…bad guys turn me on."

The alien looked over Masaya's evil, disgusting, Gary-Stu idiotic, yet still rather hot and muscled main character body. Kish's bisexual eyes took on an evil gleam. "Well, actually, I do like my sex slaves strong and stupid," he replied. So he went out with Masaya to get double revenge on Ichigo and get some real action (Lettuce was in reality a celibate Buddhist nun, and didn't have sex). And they all lived happily ever after.

Sooo…we guess that this sad little perverted story has a moral. We think.

The moral: Don't go out with pink haired catgirls! Unless of course said catgirls are really hot. And even then, try avoiding a relationship unless you are a kendo-worshipping idiot. And if you happen to be a kendo-worshipping idiot who likes pink haired catgirls, don't get emotional because then the catgirl will become INTOLORABLE (we learned this from the manga). This is a very important life lesson, and will no doubt be applicable in many situations.

Reviews:

Darkfire180: It wasn't THAT predictable…a mad cheese monster could have randomly come in and squashed them all or something…

Half the reviews are NOT from the same person!!! Half the reviews are from the same two people! Or three! Or four! Or five! Or…well, this could go on for a while. We have to do the other reviews.

ANonYmous: Thank you for reviewing. Your review was enlightening (and hard to read out loud. Try saying hahahahahaahahohohohohohohhehehehehewhorewhorewhore three times fast).

No, Ichigo does not get paid for this. She is stupid that way. Thanks for reviewing!

Amme Moto: Yes, maggoty fish is scary. It reminds me of Masaya. But, overcoming our fears of maggoty fish will bring us one rank farther on the ladder of enlightenment or something like that.

GAHHHH! YOU STOLE MY PERSONALITY! (this is MarMar speaking… or typing… or… whatever.) YOU SHALL PAY! Just kidding, want to be friends?

Quicksilver foxx: Right…next review!

Dark Mew Angel: Yay! Bloody pile of shaking goo! Happiness!

Thanks for reviewing!

ROAE: Haha, yeah, kill Quicksilver. Then it will be that much easier for me to take Bakura! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA-

(at this point, Quicksilver confiscates the keyboard and continues with reviewer responses)

HA! I told you that you were a bakura fangirl. I TOLD YOU, I TOLD YOU, I TOLD YOU, AND NOW YOU HAVE ADMITTED IT!

As thanks for me helping you unleash your inner Bakura fangirliness, you have to give me him for Christmannukahquanza/new years/ the holiday in honor of white haired bishounen Marmar and Kim made up to go with their new religion, BISHOUNIZM! Hee!

LilMewBerii: Thanks! Quicksilver should really get around to emailing you…she is too forgetful…maybe sooner or later.

Lyssa-chan(friend of Dark Mew Angel) Yay! Another convert! Thanks for your happy comments!

MarMar: Evanessence RULES!

Foxx: Good Charlotte RULES!

(an epic punk rock music battle ensues)

Amme Moto(again)(we think)(did we already do a response for you?)(we forget): Yes, little brothers are certainly NOT bakura…we know from expirence…

Darkfire180: Thanks! A complimentary review…sort of! YOU FINALLY GOT CHELSEA TO REVIEW… KIND OF! THE END IS NEAR!!!!

Krysofdeath: wow…that is one of the nicest reviews we have ever received. Seriously.

Runaway Kid RK: Thanks…we think…xni to you too….What's a cheese xni?

Winged Peach: Well, at least we're passing…what made us lose the other 3.5 points? The stupidity? The pervertedness? The randomness? Nah…

Cheating is bad. Don't go yet! Bonuses coming up!


	17. Ryou and Keiichiro Make Muffins etc

Chapter 8: Bonus story wiff R. and K. (and yami bakura)

Sad and sorry disclaimer: This is it. The last one. Oh boy. We don't own Tokyo mew mew. La di da. If we did, everyone would go out with each other and everyone would be a communist nudist Buddhist (lots of ists) and curse a lot. But they don't. See our point?

Roae: Fun. Yes, I'm being sarcastic for those idiots out there.

Bonuses! (Or you-thought-we-were-dead-but-we-aren't page. We shall reign supreme forever! Mwuahahahahahahahahaha!)

……………………………………………………………………….

One day, Keiicharo said "Yay! Today is a happy day. I will make some yummy muffins for Ryou and me! " Ryou kissed him on the cheek. "Yay! Muffins! Yummy! I love you so much Kee-chan!" They snogged. Then Ryou pulled away. "I have to go to work. Bye!"

"Bye!" Keiicharo sang. Ryou left to go smell pig bottom soap pills or whatever he does that makes him rich. His boyfriend (Ryou's that is) smiled and sighed contentedly. He took out the ingredients to make a wonderful batch of oatmeal muffins. "Ryou is so hot," he said to himself, as he added the oatmeal and sugar to the mix. "I'm so glad that that Ichigo incident is over. Now he's all miney! Miney mine mine mine! I'm the only one that gets to see him slooowly slide off his boxers…" Keiicharo added egg after egg into the mix as he fantasized about Ryou's boxer shorts on his head. Keiicharo stirred the mix happily. "Yay!" He made it into a tune. "I'm-dating-a-sex…GOD! I'm-dating-a-sex…GOD! (sung to the cha-cha tune)"

But all happiness was not complete. There was an explosion as Keiicharo started to bake the muffins. As the mist and smoke cleared, a form appeared in the haze. A form like none other. The form of ultimate bad-boy godliness. The form of…YAMI BAKURA! (Mar Mar: YAMI BAKURA! YAY! Quicksilver: YAMI BAKURA! YAaaaa…sees look on Mar Mar's face Uh oh. Mar Mar: YAMI BAKURA IS MINE! YAAAAAAAAA! hits quicksilver repeatedly over her adorable fuzzy fox ears (Mar Mar: They are sooo not! Adorable I mean!) with the black Goth leather purse of doom Roae: Good thing she doesn't know I like him too… Did I just say that out loud? Uh oh…runs away yelling)

(Extra disclaimer just to torture 2 ½ tourtured souls (Roae is the half because she's not supposed to be writing this. Roae: Hey!) We don't own yugioh either. If we did, it would not be appropriate for the tender souls of likkle kids out in the world. Hint: Yaoi. And lots of it. But since it is our sworn duty to soil the minds of the innocent children of the world, I think I (Mar Mar) will write yaoi doujinshi and make a zillion copies and 'accidently' get it blown all over the daycare center…Sound like a plan to you? doesn't wait for answer Good, me too… evil smirk)

Yami Bakura walked up to Keiicharo and slapped him across the nose. Keiicharo stared at him in amazement. "What the hell was that for? Who the fuck is (Hey, Microsoft Word said it was proper grammar) you anyways? This story was not supposed to be a crossover!" Yami B. looked grouchy. "I'm on break. So sue me. Anyways…back on subject! RYOU IS MINE!" Keiicharo stared in amazement. "Nani?"

"You heard me…Ryou is mine! Ooh! Look! Muffins!" Yami B. grabbed one. Kee-chan started to cry. "My muffin! Mine! Big meanie! WAAAAA!"

Ryou walked in. "Hi Kee-chan! Guess who got let out early from work…Hey! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE HOUSE! But more importantly…WHO THE FUCK IS THAT? You are cheating on me again! It was bad enough with Ichigo! Waaa!" Now everyone was crying except for Yami B. who was chewing on his toes (Mar Mar: Meh? Quicksilver: Feh.). Keiicharo spoke up. "I have no clue who this guy is! I swear! I was just making muffins when he randomly popped up! Honest, Ryou!"

Bakura looked up. "Ryouuuuu… Uh oh." He sweatdropped. He nodded towards Ryou (the Tokyo mew mew one) "So you're Ryou?" Ryou nodded. "Um…oops. Ha ha ha. Uh, as much fun as this is, um…I gotta go. Bye!" Bakura disappeared.

Keiicharo started crying again. Ryou looked at him tenderly. "Kee-chan darling, what's wrong?" Kee-chan screamed, "He took the MUFFIN! WAAAAAAAAA!" Ryou smiled. "It's ok. We have plenty more."

"R…really?"

"Yee-up!" Grinning happily, Ryou bit into one. "Yum!...YUCK! WHAT THE FUCK!" He spit it back out. "Honestly, Ryou, you should have scrambled these instead of baking them!"

And they lived happily ever after.

So…

This is the last chapter…

Forever. Me and MarMar and Roae will never update this fic ever…

Reading back on it, I realized what utter, badly written shit it is. We're all much better authors now.

We'll always have fond memories of this fic as our first! We never knew it would be so popular! Thanks for supporting us, guys!

Don't worry, we won't let the Tokyo mew mew part of ff. net go to the stupid losers who write about this random girl named Zoey…who is that bitch, anyways? (rhetorical question). We won't let the 'new mews' take over either! Look out for our next fic, Team Mew Mew!

BYE-CHAN!

(Quicksilver, MarMar, and Roae fly to a land far, far away on a purple cloud).


End file.
